I am hoping that you could help me out with how to deal with a very strange wedding.
A friend of mine is getting married at the end of March. He and his fiance have just issued an open invitation via Facebook, linking to their website with all the wedding details.
The website has details on the time and place, as well as information on the Bring & Share Meal. The website includes instructions to bring only cold food, preferably already on a plate and clingfilmed. All plates should have name stickers on. There is also a list of suggestions for the meal (soft drinks, whole joints of coca cola ham, cheesecake, sushi, a VARIETY of flavoured crisps, etc.)
Then there is the gift list (or if you prefer you can donate to the honeymoon fund).
The whole thing has made me very uncomfortable, as I don’t know what I should do. It’s not my place to say anything, and I wouldn’t feel at all comfortable suggesting anything to the couple at this late stage! Should I ignore it and not go, as no formal invite has been issued? Should I go, but bring only food OR a gift? Should I just attend the ceremony, as it would be lovely to see them married?!
I have never been in this position before, and I have never heard of a wedding like this! I feel very out of my depth! I’d like to hear your take on the matter! 0222-14
I realize modern technology has made invitations easy but public invitations to the whole world are impersonal and cold, imo. It’s as if the hosts are ambivalent about my presence at the event and couldn’t be bothered to extend a personal invitation. So, I would be inclined to not attend the wedding if I became aware of such a public cattle call for everyone to come.
As for the sign ups for food, I ignore these. Either I am a guest or a caterer but not both. If you want to go to the wedding, then by all means go and do so with no guilt feelings about your lack of food offering. It appears from the web page you sent me that people have already signed up for everything already thus relieving you of the false sense of duty to play caterer.