The Chutzpah of Asking For The Monetary Difference

by admin on August 19, 2013

Years ago, when I was only 20, a friend was marrying his high school sweet heart in my home town. I was not particularly close to his bride-to-be but I did think she was a wonderful girl. I received my invitation in the mail and was quite excited to open the letter because this would be the first wedding I would attend. Upon opening the letter, a poorly cut invitation was pulled out. I fully believe if someone cannot afford a professionally printed invitation, that by all means they should go ahead and purchase the considerably less expensive “DIY” invitations. In some cases I appreciate these more, the couple has spent the time and effort to create invitations themselves and in most cases this shows. However, this invitation definitely did not take much time, but hastily cut to the appropriate size, mangled and had dirty finger prints on the edges. I looked past this and decided this was due to the fact they were a young couple and may not have had any help from family or friends. I was still extremely happy to be going. I read over the invitation daily (I was finally an adult! And was invited to an adult party!!) not to mention I was thrilled for my friend to be marrying.

Closer to the date I ran into one of the bride’s maids and asked her if the couple had registered at any stores because I would like to get them something they really wanted. I received a very odd look from the bride’s maid and was told, no they had not registered. She swiftly changed the subject of conversation. I did not think much of this interaction and purchased a very nice and quite expensive gift for the couple at a very upscale kitchen store (much more expensive than I could afford, but because this was my first wedding I would attend, I didn’t want to seem cheap, not to mention I genuinely wanted my friend to enjoy his gift).

A friend and I drove to the wedding together because we both lived around the corner from the other and we were told we would be seated next to each other. She saw my gift all beautifully wrapped and asked what I had gotten for the couple, I told her and asked what she would be giving, she said a cheque for so much. I was pleased to find out my gift was worth more than what she would be giving to the couple, NOT because I wanted to upstage her, but because I was so insecure about my own gift and wasn’t sure whether or not it was too inexpensive. (I really had no idea at 20 that a wedding gift should NOT be expected but was a very thoughtful gesture no matter how much was spent.)

The ceremony was beautiful and afterwards everyone kept going on about how lovely the bride was, I sincerely agreed. The guests mingled in the parking lot of the church for a half hour because the reception was not for another 2 hours. Apparently my friend I had driven with mentioned my gift to one of the bride’s maids and how neat it was they would be receiving something so beautiful from such an upscale kitchen store. This bride’s maid then went ahead and told the bride what she would be receiving as a gift from me.

I was completely unaware of this until a phone call I received from the same bride’s maid I had spoken to about the registry while on our way to the reception. She explained to me that the bride was very upset and very disappointed that I had purchased a gift for her instead of giving a monetary gift like the invitation had mentioned. She asked that I return the gift and send her the money instead. I was floored! Not only was she being a very ungracious bride but she had written on the invitation to only bring a gift of money? I pulled the invitation out of my purse and informed the bride’s maid that in fact it did not mention anywhere on the invitation that they preferred money. She then said, “Ohhhhh, you received one of those invitations. Ya, that was their first draft, she sent a few of those out to people she didn’t know very well.”  I was completely disgusted. I could not believe that I received “one of those invitations”. I just calmly told her I was fine with giving a monetary gift. I did not want to cause a problem because I liked the groom very much and assumed he had nothing to do with this.

Instead of waiting to return the gift, my friend and I stopped off at a store and picked up another card, added cash to this card (significantly less than I had used to purchase their original gift) and headed for the reception. The reception was very nice and the bride and groom made a real effort to not only greet their guests in the receiving line, but also make their way around to each table and chat with as many guests as they could.

Approximately a week later I received a phone call from my friend, the groom. He thanked me for attending the wedding and I told him how much I had enjoyed myself. He proceeded to thank me for my gift and I said he was more than welcome. He then said something I was shocked by,  “…but we were a little surprised by the gift.” I asked why. He began, “Well, we were told by a bride’s maid that you bought us such and such and I checked to see how much this cost and it was significantly more than you gave us in the card, we wanted to know if you would be sending the difference or if you want, you could just send us the gift with the gift receipt and we can return it.”  (Have we all fainted away yet, Ehellions? – Admin)

I stopped talking for a moment. I could not believe how rude the two of them were. I originally assumed my friend could not have had anything to do with this, that it must have been just the bride who was greedy but it was my friend as well! I calmly said, “No, I will not be sending any more money or sending the gift.” He asked why not, I replied “I will say this as politely as I can. It is extremely rude to ask for a gift on your invitation, it is extremely rude to use a ‘first draft’ invitation for a friend, it is extremely rude to not accept a gift graciously and ask for the cash, and lastly it is extremely rude to then ask for the gift back.”  He began yelling and calling me a few choice words. I politely told him if he was going to speak to me that way then I would be hanging up, if he calms down he was welcome to call me back. I have never heard from him again. 0819-13

This may go down in the annals of Ehell history as one of the top ten stories of greedy, entitled newlyweds who were aided and abetted by their nosy, greed facilitating bridesmaid.

P.S. OP….next time simply take your unwanted wrapped gift back home with you since you had not yet given it to them and it was clearly unwanted.   And then do not feed the gimme pigs by acquiescing to their demands to be fed in the style to which they prefer.

{ 61 comments… read them below or add one }

Mer August 19, 2013 at 1:53 pm

There is a proverb in my language and the best translation for the meaning i can find is is that a man is known for the company he keeps. A gently reminder that usually you can tell something about a person by looking at his/her friends. If a bride acts this way, either the groom tolerates or agrees, or is totally oblivious and unaware what his better half is doing. While the latter is not impossible at all, I would think the first is the more common one.

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June First August 19, 2013 at 2:02 pm

Note to self: don’t eat lunch when reading stories like this. I almost choked a couple of times!!

OP, this is one of the few instances where I think it’s ok to point out the rude behavior, because the groom specifically ASKED why you weren’t giving in to their demands.

Just a note on your story, though: even though the couple probably treated them this way, they are bridesmaids, not the bride’s maids. (Imagine what she made those poor girls go through for the wedding!)

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No Wedding August 19, 2013 at 2:13 pm

I find myself hoping you gave them $5. And I wouldn’t want to speak to either of them ever again, especially the groom who called up to get the difference and yelled at you when you wouldn’t. And who would check to find out how much the original gift was! WOW.

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bloo August 19, 2013 at 2:21 pm

Oh…oh…quick…my smelling salts! (swoon)

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Joy September 11, 2013 at 3:13 pm

LOLOLOLOLOL!

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Nikki August 19, 2013 at 2:24 pm

Whatever the amount, the money used to attend the wedding and give a gift to the couple was well spent. Not having this couple in the OP’s life is worth it.

What boors.

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sv August 19, 2013 at 2:36 pm

My jaw actually dropped open while I was reading. For real. I can’t believe this!! Kudos to you, OP, for handling it in such a calm way.

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AIP August 19, 2013 at 6:39 pm

Same here!

Chutzpah really doesn’t cover it. Sheer brass neck more like!

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LawGeek August 25, 2013 at 6:57 pm

Chutzpah covers it, if you understand the true meaning of the word.

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The Elf August 20, 2013 at 9:34 am

Yeah, I’m not sure if I could have stayed so calm! Good for you. I think you’re better off not hearing from him again.

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Snarkastic August 26, 2013 at 4:12 pm

Yes, I think my mouth actually fell open in shock. I quietly gasped. This was one of the more egregrious stories I have read on this site. I cease to be amazed!

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April Damon August 19, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Wow. OP, you handled that so much better than I could ever have dreamed of at 20 and how I would hope to handle it at 33. I probably wouldn’t have given anything after being told that cash was preferred, as the admin has advised, but I would have struggled mightily with my manners. I’m an etiquette project in progress and I know it. You did an outstanding job! Kudos.

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Lex August 20, 2013 at 4:56 am

Ditto. My jaw dropped when I read this. Quite frankly if I had been you I would have returned the gift then told the friend that the consequences for his ingratitude is that you decided not to get them anything at all – since the substandard invite you received had no information on it, you are within your right to interpret that as you see fit.

I am still ashamed of my sisters’ behaviour (as are my parents) after her wedding – not only did she add gift registry cards in the invitations, but when Aunt E and Uncle M (who could not attend due to infirmity) sent her a thoughtful LARGE self-heating serving dish (NOT from the registry), she tried to find out where to return it to (although without talking to Aunt E as Aunt E has a reputation in our family for histrionics and general emotional manipulation).

To top it off, she didn’t even send thank-you cards. We’re all so ashamed. My sister and I were brought up better than that – after every birthday we would be taken to WHSmith to choose thank you cards and would sit down and write them, address them and post them in the same day. Our mother is mortified at her behaviour but my sister is a grown adult and entitled to make her own mistakes. We’ve made our feelings clear on the subject but she doesn’t care.

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Kimstu August 19, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Wow, what a pair of greedy pigs! I totally sympathize with the young OP’s impulse to call the bridal couple out on their incredible rudeness, and I admire the calm self-control with which she managed it. However, I’m wondering what would be the etiquette-approved way to cope with the bridegroom’s unspeakably tacky demand without actually telling him he was rude, which of course is an etiquette faux pas in itself (although a pretty minuscule one compared to what this couple perpetrated!).

Admin is right that it would have been perfectly correct for the OP simply to withdraw her original gift and say nothing, as soon as the recipient(s) committed the rudeness of complaining about it. (Although I personally would have been inclined just to give the gift anyway, making sure to include the gift receipt, because the bride’s complaint was passed on through a third party (the bridesmaid) and you can never be sure that a third party might not be cluelessly misinterpreting the situation.)

But once the OP had graciously overlooked that rudeness and generously provided a replacement gift in the preferred form of cash, and the bridegroom had had the all-consuming mannerless gall to actually ask directly for MORE… What should somebody in such a situation say, in order to avoid explicitly telling the gimme pigs how rude they are but also make it clear that they aren’t getting fed again?

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AS August 20, 2013 at 7:49 am

@Kimstu: why would you beat about the bush when you can tell directly that what the groom demanded was rude. I don’t think it is rude to call them out on their rudeness. It is called having a polite spine.

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Kimstu August 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm

No, I think having a polite spine just means not giving in to rude demands, without explicitly telling the demander that they’re being rude. Of course, as already noted by others, such a minor lapse was certainly very understandable and forgivable in the OP’s case, especially compared to the magnitude of the gross discourtesy perpetrated by the bridal couple. I was just wondering if there was a 100% etiquette-approved way of extricating oneself from such a situation.

@InNM: “If it were me, I would have probably started laughing hard and taken the “this must be a joke” route; or probably told them that the money was forthcoming and he and the wife should hold their breath until it arrives. Then massive communication screening would commence.”

I like this idea! It makes it clear that the request is absurd and unreasonable, and cuts off the gimme pigs who so blatantly abused the ties of friendship, without having to actually say “you are being rude”.

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Melanie August 22, 2013 at 3:34 am

A third party could also have nasty ulterior motives, so I think going ahead and giving the gift would have been best as well.

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lizza August 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm

Oh my goodness! What a terribly greedy and rude couple. I’m sorry your friendship ended that way, but boy were you lucky to find out then, before baby showers, graduations, etc.

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Michelle C. Young August 19, 2013 at 4:05 pm

Oh, my gosh! That really takes the cake!

I’m sorry your “friend” lost you as a friend, as you seem incredibly nice, to me.

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Dyan August 19, 2013 at 4:56 pm

wow…
I have to say if ANYONE had told me my gift is inappropriate, there would be NO second gift, no gift card no anything but a nice greeting card saying congrats…

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MollyMonster August 19, 2013 at 5:06 pm

I am pretty sure my office was airless from all the gasping in horror I was doing with this story. Holy cow, you are better off without these people until they grow-the-heck-up. While part of me wishes you had given them a fat load of nothing as a present, am glad that less money than intended was wasted on them.

At least you had a firm grasp on what was rude, took the time to kindly inform him, and can now hope that he eventually learned not to be tacky and rude and has only not contacted you since due to his extreme embarrassment in his behavior!

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clairedelune August 19, 2013 at 5:26 pm

…speechless. Top ten indeed!

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CookieWookiee August 19, 2013 at 5:58 pm

….I have no words. Just WOW. Good for you, OP!

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Ellie August 19, 2013 at 6:03 pm

I do not comment much, but this is just beyond disgraceful. Absolutely disgusting! OP did fine, and even gave the groom the benefit of the doubt. Admin is right that the OP had no requirements whatsoever to give them a different gift, but it does show that he/she was trying to keep the peace. Too bad the groom had to take it even further, as if the situation wasn’t bad enough. Hope they enjoy their new lives as newlyweds, with all their new things but no friends left!

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Yasuragi August 19, 2013 at 7:33 pm

Oh my.

OP, please come back to assure us that you’ve grown a stainless steel polite spine since then and have never let yourself be treated like this again!

What a bunch of jerks. It’s awful when someone you like and care about disappoints you like this. :-(

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Michele K. August 19, 2013 at 9:04 pm

I wish we had a jaw-dropping icon to use. This one is definitely one for the record books. It ranks right up there with recent news articles about HCs thinking that they deserved gifts/money at least equivalent or double the amount being spent per guest at the wedding.

OP, I think you are the winner in this event since the HC are no longer even distant acquaintances.

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Angela August 19, 2013 at 10:45 pm

Unbelievable, and a little sad considering that you were excited about being invited to the wedding.

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NostalgicGal August 20, 2013 at 1:41 am

OP, you handled it well. I totally back your editing your friend list after the phone call.

Yep, this is a couple that are right up there shoveling coal at the Ehell blastfurnace.

Wowzers.

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RC August 20, 2013 at 2:11 am

Oh dear, I do confess to a certain amount of rage upon reading this. Managed to contain it though! Didn’t manage to contain my coffee though, I choked and sprayed it all over the monitor. I cannot believe what I just read.

OP, I think you handled the situation very graciously, especially at 20! You should be proud of your younger self. Kudos to you!

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Lo August 20, 2013 at 8:16 am

OP, you did GOOD!

I definitely wouldn’t have handled anything half so well when I was 20. At the bit where the groom had the gall to yell at you– well lets just say I’d not have responded as kindly as you did. Actually, at age 20 I probably would have burst into tears and run away from the phone. You handled this graciously and appropriately.

I always think it’s best to give couples the benefit of the doubt when they ask for money. Much like including registry info on a wedding invite, there are so many people who don’t think it’s a problem and it’s not my job to educate them. I usually prefer to give a check to a couple anyway. However, the rejection of any gift is an insult and should be taken as one. There’s no way to make that anything but a slap in the face of decency.

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Sarah August 20, 2013 at 9:09 am

To the OP – I think your friend was innocent (by what I could read anyway) – she told them what a lovely present they were getting and it was only the bridal couple who had the idea of (maybe because she told them with awe and happy they would be getting such a lovely present!) finding out how much that would be worth! It was also their idea to “shake you down for the rest”! The whole thing was awful but I hope that I am right in thinking that your friend may have only said too much not stirred up trouble! I think your bride´s maid/bridesmaid slip was more than a little freudian!

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Wild Irish Rose August 20, 2013 at 9:15 am

I would be surprised if this pair of self-absorbed individuals were still together.

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Charliesmum August 20, 2013 at 10:50 am

I thought the same thing! I hope the OP comes back and tells us, if she actually knows.

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Cherry August 21, 2013 at 9:58 am

Are you kidding, they’re probably planning how much they can get out of friends and family once they conceive… They seem pretty well matched to me, by which I mean they deserve each other.

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InNM August 20, 2013 at 9:26 am

I thought the OP handled that situation very well. If it were me, I would have probably started laughing hard and taken the “this must be a joke” route; or probably told them that the money was forthcoming and he and the wife should hold their breath until it arrives. Then massive communication screening would commence.
He wanted to know when the rest of the money would be coming because he heard the original gift was more expensive than what she actually gave! Ha! This was after she got a halfway invitation in the first place. Yeah he would be waiting for that money for a long time, or if I chose it give it to him, it would be in monthly 1-penny installments or some painstakingly annoying method like that.

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LeeLee88 August 20, 2013 at 9:34 am

OP, you handled this really well. I know we’re not supposed to tell others they’re being rude, but I think it was pretty justified in this case. This was completely out of left field! I commend you for your composure, I really do. I probably would have just gone blank and silently hung up :-P

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Cat August 20, 2013 at 9:35 am

Another happy couple who should have simply sent guests a bill for attending their wedding. Some of the credit for this disaster goes to the bridesmaid who decided to tell the bride about your gift and the cost. It was not her place to go running to the bride to discuss a gift the bride had not yet received and its cost had nothing to do with anything. There are people to whom no information should be given about anything.
As for the bride and groom, good riddance. You will be spared from future money-grabs in the form of anniversaries, baby showers, birthdays, etc.

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just4kicks August 20, 2013 at 10:39 am

Oh. My. God. Seriously?!?

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Amber August 20, 2013 at 10:58 am

Wow.

This is up there with the couple that was asked to send a check for the difference between their monetary gift and the amount their dinner cost at the wedding.

Admin, you need to make a “Top 10″ list for Hells Bells and Etiquette Hell. You get so many moderately rude things that sometimes I forget there are some serious awfuls out there in the world.

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Pam August 20, 2013 at 11:33 am

I think the world would be a better place if more people had the “polite spine” – I don’t think OP did anything wrong in explaining to the groom that his behavior was rude, because he asked for an explanation! Yikes.

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rings90 August 20, 2013 at 1:04 pm

I would’ve probably told him I bought hius gift on sale with coupons, so the cash value evens out.

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kingsrings August 20, 2013 at 5:40 pm

Wow. I was really hoping that there would be an, “April Fools!” at the end of this story, because I didn’t want to believe that people could behave in such a horribly rude manner. I’m surprised though that the groom didn’t mention the cost of the plate, though, as most couples in these greed horror stories do.

Between this story, the recent picnic basket/marshmallow fluff story, and the many other similar stories that have been posted on here throughout the years – I am left wondering what in the world possesses couples to act in this horribly rude way? Were they this rude beforehand, and this is just more of that? Or were they driven to this etiquette madness by the huge stress and financial costs of wedding planning? Or was there a horribly rude side to them all along, and this event just happened to be the catalyst that brought it all out? It seems to me that the OP in all of these stories always seem to be blind-sided by the couple’s behavior, like they had never acted that way before.

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Kirsten (the first!) August 21, 2013 at 4:48 am

I think this is just another one where I bet they saw nothing wrong with it and claimed that ‘everyone loved it’! Even on this site, I have seen a few responses where people say things like, “I threw my own bridal shower and nobody had a problem!” or “we used a poem asking for money and everyone loved it!”

For a horrible example of English bad wedding manners, look at this from the Daily Mail: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2387731/The-REVERSE-wedding-list-Modern-couples-flogging-old-belongings-friends-return-honeymoon-cash.html

They SELL their old tat to their guests to pay for their honeymoon. Apparently everyone thinks is adorable and a lovely idea, and praises them for this ‘modern’ approach. In reality, half their friends would have been slagging the whole thing off as appalling and the other half would have just been too embarrassed to do anything but mutter, “Er, yeah…er, good idea” when asked. Horrible!

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Kimstu August 21, 2013 at 2:02 pm

Talk about putting a disastrously rude new twist on a perfectly proper traditional practice! No, the traditional practice in this case is not the wedding gift, or even the wedding registry: it’s the YARD SALE.

Protip for engaged couples: If you’ve got too many things and not enough money, it’s fine to sell some of your things secondhand for cash, but don’t try to combine that time-honored and respectable activity with a cutesy attempt at shaking down your wedding guests! Hold a yard/garage sale (actually, a little googling tells me that yard and garage sales are still seen as an American innovation in the UK, but the comparable “car-boot sale” appears to be a fine old British tradition and just as effective) to get rid of it.

Or put the stuff on Ebay, take it to a consignment shop, whatever. But don’t use your upcoming wedding as an excuse to dump your junk on your friends and family at inflated prices! Sheesh.

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Cherry August 21, 2013 at 9:56 am

I think we need some kind of “Spine of Steel” award on Etiquette Hell and Hells Bells. This OP can receive the first nomination. Well handled!

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Hanna August 21, 2013 at 10:43 am

Wow!!! Honestly? If it were me and I got that phone call in between the ceremony and reception, I would have returned the gift and then not have attended the reception. It was obvious that the only reason OP was invited to this wedding was for monetary gain, and had she suspected that earlier, she probably would have gone straight home, too, no gift, no money, not even a card. Geewhiz.

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Marozia August 21, 2013 at 4:40 pm

When I showed my mother this case, she almost had a fit with her leg up!!
One wonders where people get these ridiculous ideas from, asking for a present with one hand, pushing it away with another and then asking for more!! What made this worse, was the bridesmaid with a crater-mouth, telling the bride about the gift she was getting!!!
No wonder with attitudes like that, we have so many rude, insufferable people in the world. Bride + Groom = Philistines.
OP, kick this lot to the kerb and don’t look back.

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startruck August 22, 2013 at 10:34 am

i would have returned the gift , kept the cash and treated myself to a nice dinner.

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Carrie August 22, 2013 at 12:52 pm

I second this comment. Or given them a card with $1 in it.

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Marozia August 22, 2013 at 7:40 pm

Motion carried. I agree with you both.

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Cora August 22, 2013 at 3:48 pm

I…. I just….. I…… what.

WHO the HELL puts “give us cash” ON a wedding invitation? I can’t even process this, much less the “first-draft” invitations and the “give us the receipt so we can return it” and “give the us the difference in cost” garbage. And yes, I agree with everybody, OP, that you handled this brilliantly, and it was not a breach of etiquette to inform The Dumbest Groom Ever of the various ways, plural, he was rude.

Good LORD.

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Mae August 23, 2013 at 10:24 am

This story is definitely one of the worst I have read.

After the bridesmaid called me on the way to the reception, I would have delivered my friend as promised, said I was feeling ill (which would have been true, mad as hell and sick to the stomach) and offered cab fare or seen if she could arrange another way home.

Something I caught and not sure if others did- when the groom called, he said OP could send the gift & gift receipt and the couple would return it for cash. Which meant not only did they get the card & money, but they also wanted to get the entire amount of the original gift as well, which meant they would have gotten more than OP spent in the first place. Greedy, greedy, greedy.

OP, please tell me you no longer associate with these people. Such tacky, greedy heathens.

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Mary August 27, 2013 at 7:04 am

I did notice the same thing. That he was trying to double dip!

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Lou August 23, 2013 at 10:45 am

Oh my actual Jesus…what is the matter with people?!

I was already disillusioned enough by the state of etiquette around weddings. I got married this year, with no mention of gifts on our invitations – several people (immediate family) didn’t even give us a card but assured us they would send the card and/or present later but not a peep 6 months later – I haven’t mentioned it to any of them because, well, that would be rather rude wouldn’t it?.

We subsequently attended 7 weddings as guests this year and arrived at each one with a carefully-chosen card filled with cash (as all of them had requested in some way or another on their invitations or via heavy hints from the happy couple prior to the wedding) and have so far received one thank-you card. ONE. And that was from the couple who were married in March. Apparently when I got into a flap about getting our thank-yous written and posted within a fortnight of returning from honeymoon, I needn’t have bothered my little head.

But this. This is just RIDICULOUS. Why would somebody think it’s fine to reject someone’s present and ask for cash instead, then quibble about the amount of cash given? I’ve seen better manners on fice-year-olds at birthday parties. Good grief. Excellent response though OP, nicely done.x

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Snarkastic August 26, 2013 at 5:02 pm

No one was raised with any sense. You just need watch any reality show to realize that THAT is an example of America’s base level of intelligence. You wouldn’t expect any of the dopes from Big Brother to have the sense to write thank you notes, so why should we ever expect anyone else to know? Sigh. It makes me sad.

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Nina J. Hodgson August 23, 2013 at 2:04 pm

These brides and grooms have brilliant futures ahead of them — as collection agents. If they can dun their guests they can surely dun all types of past-due accounts.

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Angel August 25, 2013 at 6:39 pm

I always thought it very poor etiquette to mention gifts on a invitation, even if you are requesting “no gifts.” The point of the celebration is just that, to celebrate the union of two people who you love, or at least respect and care for.

This scenario is just wrong on so many levels. I think it is extremely sad that people do this to other people who supposedly they consider friends! I wouldn’t even treat my enemies like that.

And what business is it of anyone else what the OP got the couple for a gift? I think her first mistake was telling a bridesmaid what she intended to give. If no one knows, no one can comment.

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Floofy August 25, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Stories like this just make me imagine when an invitation says that a “seat will be held in your honor”, that the happy couple are envisioning sacks of money sitting in those chairs instead of people. Gimme pigs don’t care if their guests are having a good time or even feel welcomed.

“Oh hi, glad you could come. Please leave your gift at the door and go away. “

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penguin tummy August 26, 2013 at 2:24 am

This is the worst gimme pig story ever! I’m already pretty shocked how people treat gift giving occasions these days, as though they are entitled to a gift or money. Weddings seem to be just a money grab now, not a celebration of love and family.

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Kathleen September 10, 2013 at 9:03 pm

There were times when my son, in his very early years, would say something rude to someone (not many, I assure you). I would apologize and once I had him alone, make certain my son understood in no uncertain terms that such behavior was unacceptable. Apparently one or both of these gits lacked such childhood lessons. Sometimes adults need to hear it as well lest they continue unchecked. I thought OP handled it all very well, and I saw nothing wrong with her honesty, especially given he was so audacious about the situation.

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psyche October 13, 2013 at 1:07 pm

I would have been tempted if I was in your position to retort that if they wanted the money so bad, sell the wedding gift on eBay.

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