Years ago, when I was only 20, a friend was marrying his high school sweet heart in my home town. I was not particularly close to his bride-to-be but I did think she was a wonderful girl. I received my invitation in the mail and was quite excited to open the letter because this would be the first wedding I would attend. Upon opening the letter, a poorly cut invitation was pulled out. I fully believe if someone cannot afford a professionally printed invitation, that by all means they should go ahead and purchase the considerably less expensive “DIY” invitations. In some cases I appreciate these more, the couple has spent the time and effort to create invitations themselves and in most cases this shows. However, this invitation definitely did not take much time, but hastily cut to the appropriate size, mangled and had dirty finger prints on the edges. I looked past this and decided this was due to the fact they were a young couple and may not have had any help from family or friends. I was still extremely happy to be going. I read over the invitation daily (I was finally an adult! And was invited to an adult party!!) not to mention I was thrilled for my friend to be marrying.
Closer to the date I ran into one of the bride’s maids and asked her if the couple had registered at any stores because I would like to get them something they really wanted. I received a very odd look from the bride’s maid and was told, no they had not registered. She swiftly changed the subject of conversation. I did not think much of this interaction and purchased a very nice and quite expensive gift for the couple at a very upscale kitchen store (much more expensive than I could afford, but because this was my first wedding I would attend, I didn’t want to seem cheap, not to mention I genuinely wanted my friend to enjoy his gift).
A friend and I drove to the wedding together because we both lived around the corner from the other and we were told we would be seated next to each other. She saw my gift all beautifully wrapped and asked what I had gotten for the couple, I told her and asked what she would be giving, she said a cheque for so much. I was pleased to find out my gift was worth more than what she would be giving to the couple, NOT because I wanted to upstage her, but because I was so insecure about my own gift and wasn’t sure whether or not it was too inexpensive. (I really had no idea at 20 that a wedding gift should NOT be expected but was a very thoughtful gesture no matter how much was spent.)
The ceremony was beautiful and afterwards everyone kept going on about how lovely the bride was, I sincerely agreed. The guests mingled in the parking lot of the church for a half hour because the reception was not for another 2 hours. Apparently my friend I had driven with mentioned my gift to one of the bride’s maids and how neat it was they would be receiving something so beautiful from such an upscale kitchen store. This bride’s maid then went ahead and told the bride what she would be receiving as a gift from me.
I was completely unaware of this until a phone call I received from the same bride’s maid I had spoken to about the registry while on our way to the reception. She explained to me that the bride was very upset and very disappointed that I had purchased a gift for her instead of giving a monetary gift like the invitation had mentioned. She asked that I return the gift and send her the money instead. I was floored! Not only was she being a very ungracious bride but she had written on the invitation to only bring a gift of money? I pulled the invitation out of my purse and informed the bride’s maid that in fact it did not mention anywhere on the invitation that they preferred money. She then said, “Ohhhhh, you received one of those invitations. Ya, that was their first draft, she sent a few of those out to people she didn’t know very well.” I was completely disgusted. I could not believe that I received “one of those invitations”. I just calmly told her I was fine with giving a monetary gift. I did not want to cause a problem because I liked the groom very much and assumed he had nothing to do with this.
Instead of waiting to return the gift, my friend and I stopped off at a store and picked up another card, added cash to this card (significantly less than I had used to purchase their original gift) and headed for the reception. The reception was very nice and the bride and groom made a real effort to not only greet their guests in the receiving line, but also make their way around to each table and chat with as many guests as they could.
Approximately a week later I received a phone call from my friend, the groom. He thanked me for attending the wedding and I told him how much I had enjoyed myself. He proceeded to thank me for my gift and I said he was more than welcome. He then said something I was shocked by, “…but we were a little surprised by the gift.” I asked why. He began, “Well, we were told by a bride’s maid that you bought us such and such and I checked to see how much this cost and it was significantly more than you gave us in the card, we wanted to know if you would be sending the difference or if you want, you could just send us the gift with the gift receipt and we can return it.” (Have we all fainted away yet, Ehellions? – Admin)
I stopped talking for a moment. I could not believe how rude the two of them were. I originally assumed my friend could not have had anything to do with this, that it must have been just the bride who was greedy but it was my friend as well! I calmly said, “No, I will not be sending any more money or sending the gift.” He asked why not, I replied “I will say this as politely as I can. It is extremely rude to ask for a gift on your invitation, it is extremely rude to use a ‘first draft’ invitation for a friend, it is extremely rude to not accept a gift graciously and ask for the cash, and lastly it is extremely rude to then ask for the gift back.” He began yelling and calling me a few choice words. I politely told him if he was going to speak to me that way then I would be hanging up, if he calms down he was welcome to call me back. I have never heard from him again. 0819-13
This may go down in the annals of Ehell history as one of the top ten stories of greedy, entitled newlyweds who were aided and abetted by their nosy, greed facilitating bridesmaid.
P.S. OP….next time simply take your unwanted wrapped gift back home with you since you had not yet given it to them and it was clearly unwanted. And then do not feed the gimme pigs by acquiescing to their demands to be fed in the style to which they prefer.