A Thoughtful Gift Thoughtlessly Rejected With Gimme Pig Style

by admin on June 21, 2013

What started as a question over a receipt for a wedding present, spiraled into a row of Bridezilla proportions.

A Canadian couple found themselves at the wrong end of a same sex couple’s wrath after they gave the newlyweds what they thought was a thoughtful wedding basket of food with a card which read: “Life is delicious”.

Unfortunately for them, the brides were none too impressed with the gift with one asking to see the receipt stating she was gluten intolerant.

What transpires next is a Bridezilla moment of epic proportions as the gift givers and the brides get into a heated email exchange that can be read HERE.

Long story short,  guests gave the newlyweds a wedding gift of a wicker picnic basket filled with some nice food items.   Newlyweds did not appreciate this gift and wrote a condescending rebuke that the next time these two guests go to a wedding, a cash envelope is the acceptable gift and that the newlyweds “lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate… And got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. ”

The offending gift…

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Boyfriend of the giftgiving couple retaliates with, “Laura, the message you sent to me today was by far the most inconsiderate, immature, greedy, and asinine thing I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.”

He goes on to tell her that he has done a lot of research on wedding etiquette which is something the brides have clearly skipped over.

Outraged bride Laura responded: “Out of 210 people at a wedding … The only I gift I got from all (sic) was yours … And fluffy whip and sour patch kids.”

But the depths of bad manners was reached with this parting shot by one of the brides…

“Your Facebook message had nothing to do with the gift. Weddings are to make money for your future. Not to pay for peoples meals. Do more research. People haven’t gave gifts since like 50 years ago! But thanks again for the $30 gift basket my wife can’t even eat.”

“Weddings are to make money for your future?”  Oh, really?   Have we heard that before on Ehell?  Why, yes.  Yes, we have…by greedy gimme pigs who exploit the serious business of a wedding to extract as much cash as possible from friends, family and co-workers in a not-so-clever money making scheme.     Gee, I thought a wedding was the serious sealing of a commitment or covenant to one another for, hopefully, the rest of each other’s lives.   But maybe that marriage covenant is only meant to last until the wedding funds give out and then it’s time to either renew vows to refresh the cash flow or dump the now useless partner to find another co-conspirator in the newest wedding cash scheme.

{ 95 comments… read them below or add one }

Jill June 21, 2013 at 7:03 am

They are shockingly ungrateful, ungracious cows. The dig at their marriage was out of line, but they have appallingly bad manners, period. There is no justification for behavior like that.

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ferretrick June 21, 2013 at 8:30 am

And I would have bet money that the towel cake story would be the most appalling post this week.

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Shoegal June 21, 2013 at 10:27 am

You said it!!!

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Rachel June 21, 2013 at 8:53 am

If someone treated a gift I gave them this way, I don’t think they’d ever receive a gift from me again. “Weddings are to make money for your future.” -Bah! Where on earth are they getting their etiquette advice?! Too bad the gift givers didn’t include a link to this site during their email exchange…

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Mae June 21, 2013 at 9:13 am

“Weddings are to make money for your future.” What?!!? That has to be the single greediest, gimmie pigg-ish line I have ever heard.

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Miss-E June 21, 2013 at 9:22 am

Here’s my thought on the cover-the-plate belief. I said this to a friend who thinks that is appropriate: how are you supposed to know how much your plate costs? Are you honestly expected to look up the venue and caterer and find out their general pricing when you get that invitation? And then chat with the bride to find out where she’s getting her cake and then call the bakery to get some estimates so you have an idea of how much you are “costing” the couple? Of course not! That’s insane! You bring a gift (if you so choose) that is appropriate for the couple and their budget.

Of course I disagree with this belief because it’s wrong but I’ve found that it is a good argument for those who think it’s true.

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The Elf June 24, 2013 at 9:33 am

Thank you! That’s one reason why I hate the “cover your plate” concept. Lately, I’ve given cash for a wedding gift. I think I’ve “covered our plates”, but honestly I’m giving what I can afford and what is appropriate for our degree of closeness. I’m not about to investigate the venue and estimate whether it’s a $10 plate or a $30 plate or a $50 plate or a $100 plate. Who has time for that? From either the guest or the venue side?

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MissEidetic June 21, 2013 at 9:25 am

I was reading about this nonsense on another message board. The picture really only shows the Fluff and Jolly Ranchers. Allegedly, it contained a bunch of other fancy gourmet food and just a few other “fun” foods. But even if it didn’t have the fancy food, you say thank you and move on.

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Library Diva June 21, 2013 at 9:54 am

Wow, what a rotten, appalling reaction. These women should be ashamed of themselves. Look, when you have a wedding, people are going to give you things you don’t like or don’t need. It doesn’t matter. YOU ACT GRACIOUS. Doesn’t this lesson get taught at 5th birthday parties anymore? Where were the parents of the girls to explain that the appropriate reaction is “thank you,” not “yuck?” If they were genuinely gluten-intolerant, surely there is someone in their life who would appreciate this food, even if it’s only the nearest food bank.

I do have to say, though, that while nothing excuses the reaction of these women, the presence of the Sour Patch Kids and the Fluff may make this gift look a little more low-rent than the gift-giver intended. I absolutely love the concept behind this, but if he gives a similar item again, he might want to place the fancier treats more prominently and bury the inexpensive stuff towards the bottom. But these brides should have just thanked the gift-giver, regardless of what they thought of the present.

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Heather June 22, 2013 at 10:38 pm

I gather it was the brides who took that picture, after rearranging things and possibly even removing some of the items. At least, that’s what I heard on the other site.

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NotCinderell June 27, 2013 at 11:33 am

First of all, the picnic basket in which the food was given itself cost something. The food wasn’t the gift. It was extras to be given with a nice picnic basket.

Also, we don’t know what the financial circumstances of the gift-giver were in this situation. Perhaps the gift-giver was of limited means and wanted to present the gift purchased with a limited budget in as big a way as they could pull off?

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youngchick68 June 21, 2013 at 10:05 am

Clearly the brides behavior is akin to taking small children to a store that proceed to throw a “hissy fit” if they do not get a particular toy or treat. After reading the entire story (via the link) there was a great deal more than just sour patch candy. The gift in question shows that it was thought out and thoughtful with some humor on the side. I would have enjoyed receiving a gift like that.

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Melinda June 21, 2013 at 10:37 am

You think the towel cake WOULD be the worst of the week, wouldn’t you! But noooo, they managed to keep it private, which is damning them with faint praise, BUT. The behavior in this is just excruciatingly bad. Those baskets are not cheap, regardless of what fills them, and it does appear that the giver thought he/they were assembling a nice and fun item for the brides. I’d be mortified if any I knew ever behaved like this. BasketGate?

Good gravy!

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Gee June 21, 2013 at 10:49 am

You’re supposed to invite people to your wedding because you desire their presence, not their presents.

Wedding are not fundraisers! My MIL tried to turn my wedding into one, because supposedly, that how things are done in their country (Hungary). I told her as politely as I could that I wasn’t comfortable doing that in Canada, as it’s not how it’s done here.

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WildIrishRose June 21, 2013 at 11:02 am

If I had given such a gift (which really is very nice and I would LOVE to have received something like it) and gotten such a response, it would have broken my heart and I probably would have cried for days. It absolutely astounds me that people can be so cruel and mean–and so completely clueless about manners. Somebody’s parents really fell down on the job.

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Heather June 22, 2013 at 10:42 pm

I think it’s a great gift too! Someone gave us a food basket, with mostly things like fancy cheese, chocolate, little sausages, and a bottle of champagne. That one was storebought; someone else on a lower budget gave us a homemade equivalent, with wine and baked goods. We enjoyed the heck out of both of them on our honeymoon, especially since we were in a cabin & mostly picnicking–the gift baskets were our fancy restaurant. 🙂

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The Elf June 24, 2013 at 9:31 am

Count me in the “great gift” category. I’ve given a similar gift before – a nice picnic basket, filled with pretty non-breakable dishes and some food. Picnics are so romantic, it just seems to fit so well for a couple (especially if you know they are outdoors-y people).

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kikidee June 21, 2013 at 11:13 am

I am confused, is the money to cover the cost of the wedding or to set up for the future? Oh, they just want money because they are greedy. If I wanted to spend $200 on dinner, I would go somewhere halfway decent and not catered hall food! If they got $100 from each of the other 200 guests, they wuold have made $20000, is that not enough?

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Dear! June 21, 2013 at 11:43 am

I saw this this morning on another website and was just about to send it to you. I’m still in a state of disbelief about it. Sometimes, you see the stories about these horrid brides/grooms, and take it with a grain of salt, but to actually have proof makes the story even more horrid.

These brides are disgusting. I thought the gift was adorable and cute. I’m a foodie, so I can appreciate something like this. Also, as a single woman, despite having a decent job, money is tight sometimes, and you have to work a bit harder to put more thought into gifts to stretch a penny. AND, if you look at the list of items in the basket, it was not cheap. The Godiva item, on its own, is about $50! I think given that they worked at a restaurant together, the OP was trying to tie the gift into how she knew the couple – they response is just a slap in the face.

I think the OP needs to cut these two women out of their life.

The fact that the OP used to be the boss of this young lady makes it even more horrible. AND, they had a Doe & Doe, and the OP had given them a gift card, which they used to eat pasta – the very thing they claimed, initially, made them want to return the basket!!!!

The OPs response, via FB, is priceless – thought not the most polite – it was direct and very much needed. The fact that they did not hang their head in shame after that, shows how far into Ehell these ladies are.

SMH

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Ashley June 21, 2013 at 11:47 am

“Wedding’s are to make money for the future”? Jee, and here I am sitting in my office at work, thinking that my job is what makes me my money for the future. My wedding in July is me getting married to the one I love, and then having a nice little party to celebrate.

A couple things the gift giver said were out of line, like he takes a shot at their marriage, but I went and read the whole transcript of what happened and I can see why he was provoked that way.

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Bubbley June 21, 2013 at 11:48 am

Evidently, the photograph included, above, was provided to one of the media outlets by the petulant brides after they removed all of the higher priced, gourmet items in an effort to shore up their claim that it was a ‘cheap’ gift. In doing so, they’ve compounded their utter lack of grace and manners with deceitfulness, as well. Hooray for them?

This is awful.

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Sarah June 23, 2013 at 6:10 am

That was exactly the point I made under the DailyMail article! That speaks volumes for the low level to which the argument had sunk. The truth not being enough to convince, well I will just falsify the facts!

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Stacey Frith-Smith June 21, 2013 at 12:26 pm

Okay- the reality of wedding finances today may tend towards the creation of this “cover my part of the expenses” mentality. However, it is no less in error today than it was formerly. The malpractice of etiquette creates these strange hybrid expectations of past forms and current license. The result appears to be greed disguised as being “correct”.

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The Elf June 24, 2013 at 9:37 am

The “reality” of wedding finances is only a reality if the couple wishes it to be. Doing a wedding on a budget is difficult but not impossible. If more couples tried, the “reality” would change to accomodate. It’s every bit as much of a social expectation problem as it is a logistical one.

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Chocomoholic June 25, 2013 at 12:28 pm

I completely agree.

My fiancé and I do not want to bury ourselves into debt just for a one-day event, so we’ll be having a very small, low-key wedding. Immediate family only, at a parent’s house, I’ll be doing the cooking myself with the help of my mother and sister (who is a cook by profession). This way, we can save up to buy a house! In my case this has resulted in a few disgruntled aunts trying to guilt me into inviting them, even going so far as to state they would pay to be present, but I don’t feel comfortable doing something like that.

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Kimstu June 26, 2013 at 11:58 am

Good for you @Chocomoholic, hold the line. By trying to buy their way onto your guest list, your aunts are illustrating the fact that it’s not just bridal couples perpetuating the crass weddings-are-all-about-the-money mindset nowadays. A would-be guest saying “If I’m willing to pay my way then you should let me attend” is just as tacky as a host saying “If you can’t pay your way then you shouldn’t attend”.

It is up to the hosts to decide the size of the wedding and the composition of the guest list according to whatever criteria they choose to use, which may or may not include budget limitations. And it’s up to everybody else to graciously accept their choice, whether they’re invited or not.

And here’s a thought: if those pushy aunts of yours are so keen to celebrate with you on the occasion of your marriage, then why don’t they host a reception for you and your new spouse, on some date convenient for all concerned? There’s no reason a family member or friend can’t throw a party themselves to honor a bridal couple, instead of sitting around grumbling that they didn’t get invited to the bridal couple’s own party. (In fact, I believe this used to be quite frequently done for couples who had small and/or impromptu weddings during a wartime leave, for example.) Then the relatives or friends can invite whomever they wish and have as lavish a party as they choose to pay for.

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Wendy B. June 21, 2013 at 12:45 pm

They would have flipped at my wedding: a table of gifts and a box stuffed with cards with money…and some people gave both. We didn’t ask for all that we got and felt truly blessed that so many people gave as they did.

I think I’d write these women off as friends at this point, if they haven’t already. And send them an email with this website before I do.

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Wendy B. June 21, 2013 at 12:51 pm

I just want to add, after following the link…I wonder what the brides response is now to all the people on that website saying they were in the wrong? Hmmmm

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WildIrishRose June 21, 2013 at 1:07 pm

Oh, and if there’s ever another gift-giving occasion for this couple, give an envelope, per the rude bride’s observation that people give envelopes.

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Joshua June 22, 2013 at 2:04 pm
Lillie82 June 21, 2013 at 2:24 pm

I have to say I don’t think the giver comes out smelling like a rose either. I’m not sure he lowered himself quite to the level of the brides, but there was some “retaliatory rudeness” here. I’m not even referring to the reference to same-sex marriage, so much as getting involved in this whole exchange and allowing the insults to escalate. And electronically (was it on public Facebook where everyone could see it? Or via messaging?)

Of course, the reaction of the brides would be just as rude, and no more acceptable, from a hetero couple. The fact that it’s a same-sex wedding shouldn’t make it worse. I don’t think it’s right that same-sex relationships have gone socially and legally unrecognized for so long…and yet, I did have the gut reaction, “You’ve had to fight to have your marriage recognized at all, and this is what you’re complaining about?”

I was also pretty interested in the bride’s claim that this was the ONLY gift. Wouldn’t that make you appreciate it all the more? Of course, given what we’ve seen of their behavior, it’s possible the people they sent invitations to don’t like them. If some other invitees refused to acknowledge the marriage because it was same-sex (we don’t know that, but sadly, many same-sex couples still have people like that in their family and circles), then, I could see being upset with THOSE people. But again, they couple who were lashed-out at did give a gift in acknowledgment…they should be singled out for special appreciation!

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Joshua June 22, 2013 at 2:03 pm

I don’t think the bride Laura meant to claim that this was the only gift they got. She probably meant to say something like “this was the only NON-MONETARY gift we got.” The implication from her correspondence is that everyone else gave an envelope with a check in it and only the giver gave a physical item as a gift.

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The Elf June 24, 2013 at 9:44 am

I agree on the retalitory rudeness. Gift giver should have just let the matter drop and said either that they didn’t have a gift receipt (maybe with the addition that they didn’t realize about the gluten intolerance even if that’s just bs) or provided a gift receipt and let them sort it out. I suspect the basket was assembled from multiple sources so that receipts would have been impossible. In other words: they should have answered the question with as much grace as possible under the circumstances. When the second text came, it should have been ignored.

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Melanie June 24, 2013 at 2:14 am

Yeah. I side with the gift-giver, but I thought his behavior was immature.

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KiKi June 21, 2013 at 2:53 pm

This is appalling! This bride has absolutely no sense of decorum. Even if she didn’t like the gift, you say thanks and move on. As for no gifts at weddings, I got married two months ago and had a gift table full of lovely gifts. In fact, my nephew (the ring bearer) was disappointed as he thought that everyone was going to get gifts at the wedding and my MIL told him that the gifts were all for my DH and I. I thanked each and every person regardless of their gift and its value. I was just happy that everyone could come. This bride needs to check her ego at the door and to reevaluate what marriage (and weddings) really mean.

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Angel June 21, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Truly those brides are out of their minds. Oh my goodness I have never, ever heard a story like this. Nuts.

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NostalgicGal June 21, 2013 at 3:12 pm

Be Gracious, Write the Thank You Card, and give the contents to someone that can eat it then!

Gimme Pigs are taking over the world. If you are tossing the bash to rake in the cash, then don’t cry when you go bust. *Starting a ‘business’ to make money off your ‘guest list’, should be punishable* which is what a lot of these are starting to read like….

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Twigg June 21, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Oh I really hope this comment was meant to be funny, and I just missed the joke:
“Wow that gift basket is so cheap to a nice wedding. But I guess some people have no pride which makes me think that these “guests” were not good friends to begin with. So I blame the brides for inviting cheap people to begin with. The tactful thing to do would be to talk behind their back and mock their cheapness at every opportunity. “

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girl_with_all_the_yarn June 22, 2013 at 10:51 pm

I suspect that the comment was made by the brides themselves. 😉

That or just one of the internet’s ubiquitous trolls.

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Eric June 21, 2013 at 3:51 pm

I pulled three bits out of the story I read (not the one linked): “casual acquaintances”, “210 guests”, and “Weddings are to make money for your future” and came to this conclusion: the gift-givers in this story were invited with the sole expectation of increasing the bridal couple’s “take”.

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Cat June 21, 2013 at 4:32 pm

If these are their friends, I would love to see what their enemies are like. The happy couple should have accepted the gift and, what they could not eat, could be used when friends drop in to visit. “Would you care for some gummy bears?” Send a nice thank you note, “Thank you for your lovely gift of a food basket. Life is certainly delicious.”
Getting into a major mud-throwing party is wrong on both sides. “You have no manners!” “No, you’re the one with no manners! Get with the twenty-first century and give us lots of money!” I mean, really? Who benefits from temper tantrums when you are past the terrrible twos?
I would have ignored a written complaint regarding my gift. A verbal thrashing would be met with, “I am very sorry that our gift did not please you. We hope you are very happy together and your wedding was lovely. Good-bye.” Enough said.

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Ally June 21, 2013 at 4:52 pm

Ugh… I’ve read the original article.

The brides here are awful, just awful BUT… the poster doesn’t come across great either. I think he let this person get to him and said some things he probably should not have said.

I definitely think the other person was wrong, but I think he let it bother him too much. Once it was clear this lady was a rude idiot, he probably should have let it go. When someone is clearly a jerk like this woman is, don’t engage.

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Catvickie June 21, 2013 at 6:10 pm

Reminds me of my hubby–years ago the picnic basket with plates, etc. was his favorite gift for couples. He liked the ones with the included dinnerware.
Nowdays, I stick totally to the wedding registry. At least if they get too many of something, they can return them. If there is not one, I give cash.

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Wren June 24, 2013 at 1:16 pm

This made me smile. 30 years ago we received a picnic basket full of picnic items as a wedding gift. We use it to tote food and other items when we go to pot-luck dinners, when I take food to sick friends or families with new babies, when I have friends over for a bonfire and I need to lug s’mores ingredients way out to the back field, when husband and I take snacks on a weekend getaway at a hotel… but never for a picnic, LOL! People never fail to comment on what a good idea it is. It holds a 9×13 (or two) pan perfectly, with room for old towels for insulation if necessary.

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The Elf June 24, 2013 at 4:40 pm

That reminds me of my mother’s picnic basket. I have no idea if this was a wedding gift or not. I just know that it predates me. This thing has gone everywhere. She totes it to my house filled with yummy goodness (my mother is an amazing cook, so when she offers to contribute to the feast I never say no). She takes it to pot-lucks. This basket appeared on every single road trip when I was a child, filled with snacks and little games and toys. I’m sure it goes on their road trips long after I stopped riding along. It went to friend’s houses and club events. When my grandmother was in a nursing home, she filled up every couple of weeks to bring her goodies. I think it’s gone just about everywhere!

This past year it finally started to fall apart. When it finally goes, I’m buying her a replacement if she doesn’t beat me to it.

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Snowy June 21, 2013 at 6:13 pm

Perhaps my favorite subtle fact is that one of the brides was chewing gum as she went down the aisle. That, somehow, puts a lot of this into context. These women are not about elegance or etiquette. They’re about a good time and what they can get.

What a disappointment that a gift as clever and unique as that resulted in such poor treatment of the givers.

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Ally June 22, 2013 at 11:24 am

Although I do think the way that the guy said that was very rude (comparing her to a cow).

I just think this is one of those others-rudeness-doesn’t-excuse-your-own bits.

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Leah June 21, 2013 at 7:30 pm

From the sound of the type of relationship the writer had to one of the brides, he was invited purely as a gift grab. He poked the crazy a little too much and should have responded with “It’s unfortunate you aren’t enjoying the gift. It’s also unfortunate that I’ve lost the receipt. Good luck and congrats” from the get go. Or something along those lines.

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Lilly June 21, 2013 at 8:42 pm

I gotta say I would love to receive a gift like this!
If the Bridezilla bunch don`t want it I`m sure there is someone out there who would find it flawless and delightful!

How rude and ungrateful those brides are. Truly pathetic.

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WifeyDear June 21, 2013 at 10:25 pm

This completely blows my mind! It’s obvious no one taught this couple any manners, so I suppose that lets them off the hook a little bit, but only about two centimeters! I can’t even imagine the concept of using a wedding to ‘make money for the future’. Insanity!

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Kimstu June 21, 2013 at 10:28 pm

Absolutely unspeakable. Unfortunately, the gift-giving guests ended up abandoning their own commitment to etiquette (under gross provocation, it must be admitted), first by rebuking the brides for their rudeness and then by airing all the dirty laundry in public.

They should have let it go after their initial “Oh dear! Well, thank you for the wonderful time” response and just ignored the second bride’s mannerless “advice” email.

The crucial take-away from this whole distasteful story? What the letter-writer said about their connection to the brides:
“On a recent Friday I was invited (plus guest) to the wedding of a girl (I was her boss at a family, corporate style restaurant, I have since left the restaurant). […] I decided to send them both an email via Facebook (I would have sent it to their personal e-mail address, but I don’t have either. That is how close we all are)”

Moral: DON’T GO TO THE WEDDINGS OF PEOPLE YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW AND LIKE. The gift-giving guests in this case did nothing contrary to etiquette (at least, not until the post-thankless-note meltdown), but they unnecessarily subjected themselves to the boorishness of gimme pigs. People who invite you to their weddings even though you’re not close to them are probably just shaking the trees for contributions, and you really don’t want to be in the position of accepting “hospitality” from such people.

I’m waiting for the inevitable story about a bridal couple actually sending out invoices to guests who they feel have “shortchanged” them on the cost of their wedding tribute.

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Sara June 22, 2013 at 6:18 am

I’m genuinely curious–WHERE did this idea come from that gifts are meant to “cover” the cost of your plate? My impression has always been that if you can’t afford the cost of the wedding without hitting the guests up for cash, it means that you’re spending beyond your means and should scale back the extravagance of the wedding.

This is one of the worst things–seriously–that I’ve read on EHell. Ever. Seriously appalling.

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ferretrick June 22, 2013 at 11:53 am

My guess is vendors in the wedding industry trying to get couples to spend more by telling them they will get it back from the guests anyway.

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Sara June 22, 2013 at 3:29 pm

Ah……that actually makes a lot of sense!

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Miss-E June 24, 2013 at 8:18 am

As I said above, what I’m curious about is how one is supposed to determine the cost in the first place. Are you expected to do research on the venue and catering? Because I’ve been to weddings on both ends of the spectrum and you don’t really know how fancy a wedding will be until you turn up for it.

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Sara June 22, 2013 at 6:19 am

Also, how would a receipt be able to tell the gluten-intolerant partner anything that she wouldn’t learn by simply looking at the label? I assume she was just hoping to get the receipt so she could exchange the items for something else or return them for cash, but the lameness of the excuse is astounding to me.

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another Laura June 22, 2013 at 9:46 am

Bride Laura’s grammar is atrocious over all, but I particularly found this sentence amusing “You ate steak, chicken, booze, and a beautiful venue. To be exact the plates were $97 a person…”
May it cost so much because the guests ate the venue 🙂
To me the gift sounds lovely, thoughtful and useful. And bride #1‘s gluten intolerance sounds more like a convenient excuse to refuse the gift than a legitimate health concern in her case, since she was able to indulge in non-gluten free pasta a short time before.

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Puzzled June 22, 2013 at 11:23 am

Ha! I noticed the grammar issues as well. How dare they eat such a beautiful venue indeed. 🙂

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Cat June 23, 2013 at 9:52 am

It’s historically correct. Didn’t the wicked witch lure Hansel and Gretel in by living in a gingerbread house which the hungry children began to eat, unaware that there was a wicked witch inside?
People should pay more attention to fairy tales. This is just the grown-up verison. with the moral, “Don’t eat the venue.”

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Snowy June 25, 2013 at 1:08 pm

Maybe they’re actors, and they like to chew up the scenery! 😀

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Jess June 22, 2013 at 12:02 pm

I cant believe how many people were backing the brides in the comments section of the original link… seriously?

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PHW June 25, 2013 at 9:47 am

From the looks of all the responses to the original article that supported the bride, I would say most of them were made by the same person. Perhaps even one of the brides 🙂

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Kirsten June 22, 2013 at 3:31 pm

This is disgusting. Those women are hideous people and their marriage is a sham, because it’s founded on greed, ingratitude and cruelty.

Later on I saw they blamed ‘cultural differences’. Well, I went to a Kurdish wedding and we gave them a gift, then found out that nobody does that in their culture. Funnily enough the bride and groom didn’t email us mocking our gift and telling us to give them money, but then they aren’t pond scum. It’s so horrible to see someone’s kindness being repaid with a smack in the face like this. I would have cried if I’d got that email from’Laura’ and I’m glad the OP pointed out to her how disgraceful her attitude is. OK, he lost his way, but he hit back and maybe one day she’ll realize he was right.

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RC June 23, 2013 at 10:06 pm

Well said about the cultural element, Kirsten! I too would have cried if I had received ANY of the messages the brides a purported to have sent.

Cultural differences are no excuse for boorish behaviour! I went to a Chinese wedding last year, and I think I was the only guest who went against their tradition of monetary gifts; I just couldn’t bring myself to, and instead gifted them a set of handpainted egg cups shaped like a menagerie their favourite animals. Well, I received a beautiful handwritten thank you card, with two top quality photos which the happy couple gifted to me: a beautiful one of us together at their wedding, and a cute one of them using the egg cups for the first time.

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Snowy June 25, 2013 at 1:09 pm

Now, that’s a couple with some class–and serious graciousness. 🙂

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acr June 23, 2013 at 12:34 pm

I can’t believe any sane person is supporting the brides! What nasty people!

That being said…I think the gift was really, really stupid. A basket of junk food? Marshmallow Whip and Sour Patch kids? I totally disagree that the gift was “lovely and thoughtful.”

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Angela June 23, 2013 at 9:00 pm

If you read the original post it’s clear that there were much nicer things in the basket, and that the brides may have chosen to take the picture only with the fun, aka junk, food.

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RC June 23, 2013 at 10:11 pm

Any gift is lovely and thoughtful, acr, especially when it is given with good intentions as was the case here.

If any gift is given which does not meet the recipients tastes or inclinations, which can occasionally happen, then it is a thought which should be buried deep down inside and never shared with anyone, anyone at all, least of all the giver!

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Angel June 23, 2013 at 10:31 pm

acr, what the gift is isn’t the point though. It should be the thought that counts, and clearly the gift giver thought that it would be well-received. It just goes to show that if you don’t know the people who are getting married all that well, you shouldn’t even be attending the wedding–you don’t know them well enough to know what they like. The gift giver would have been better off saving himself the hassle and just saying “no.”

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Melanie June 24, 2013 at 2:16 am

According to the writer of the article, there was much more in the basket.

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Kirsten June 24, 2013 at 4:38 am

It wasn’t a basket full of junk food though. You can’t tell from this post alone, but in the article it’s made clear that most of it was expensive gourmet stuff, and it was thoughtful. The giver says this:

“my Girlfriend and I gave them a wicker box with a hinged lid, filled with food items, most of them PC Black Label, including: tri-color pasta, salsas, Balsamic vinegar and Olive, Gourmet croutons, Panko Breading, Pesto, some baking ingredients, Biscuits from Godiva and a few ‘Fun’ items like Marshmallow Fluff, Sour Patch Kids and Butterscotch sauce”

In the photo and her emails, the horrible bride has removed the gourmet items to make them look really cheap.

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June First June 24, 2013 at 11:18 am

…or maybe the brides ate the gourmet items. 😉

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Mae June 24, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Excellent point!

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Ioana June 24, 2013 at 7:59 am

Just what I thought when I saw the picture of the basket. I could not recognise the brands, but it looked like junk food. Very appropriate, indeed!

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Miss-E June 24, 2013 at 8:21 am

In the full article they say that the basket actually contained a lot of food stuff, gourmet pastas and stuff and just a few “fun” things. The bride just harped on the junk to make it sounds worse.

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PHW June 24, 2013 at 8:29 am

@acr, If you read the originally article you would see that the brides removed or rearranged the basket before taking a photo of it. The originally basket contained a lot of gourmet food products with only a few “junk food” items. It was lovely and thoughful and the gifter spend extra time and thought meticulously selecting each item and combining them into a beautiful basket.

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Mae June 24, 2013 at 9:13 am

The gift may not have been something you, or I , for that matter, would like but you do not send nasty little messages to your GUESTS about their gift. It has been mentioned on this site many, many times: You should not be expecting gifts at all and if you do receive them, they are just extra blessings.

Also, as many posters have mentioned, marshmallow whip and sour patch kids were not the only things in the basket. There were other items in the basket.

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another Laura June 24, 2013 at 10:13 am

You must not have read the article. The basket was mainly filled with “high-end” things and a few fun snacks: “a wicker box with a hinged lid, filled with food items, most of them PC Black Label, including: tri-color pasta, salsas, Balsamic vinegar and Olive, Gourmet croutons, Panko Breading, Pesto, some baking ingredients, Biscuits from Godiva and a few ‘Fun’ items like Marshmallow Fluff, Sour Patch Kids and Butterscotch sauce.”
Most of these are the ingredients to a elegant meal most newly-wedded couples would love to prepare and enjoy together. Only a few items qualify as junk food.

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Ergala June 25, 2013 at 4:09 pm

As others have said there was a LOT more in there and the “Happy Couple” conveniently took out the really high end parts prior to photographing it for the internet.

And honestly, NO gift is stupid when given in the correct spirit. I imagine my aunt and uncle thought my macaroni art was stupid when I was 6 years old and I proudly presented it to them for Christmas….but they never ever mentioned that. They instead smiled and said “THANK YOU!” and gave me a huge hug. And no I never saw it displayed anywhere in their home which is really no big deal.

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Xena Xavier June 24, 2013 at 3:04 am

I’m still scratching my head over the bride’s comment that out of all the guests, the gift-giving couple were “the talk and laugh of the whole wedding”, and that this “worst gift ever” story was being passed along to “everyone”.

So, instead of chatting about the wonderful ceremony in the lovely setting, the beauty of the brides, the beauty of their dresses, the wonderful food (it had better have been at $97 a plate), the elegant venue, the fantastic and fun-filled future the brides are embarking on together, etc. etc…..every single other guest at this shindig opted instead to take verbal shots at the offending couple for daring to be so garish and uncouth as to bring a wedding present to a wedding? AND they’re passing this hilarious anecdote along to everyone of their acquaintance?? Please….

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Michele K. June 24, 2013 at 11:17 am

According to another website that featured this article, apparently the brides had an after wedding party the next day for their friends and family. They displayed the gift basket and made fun of it in front of their party guests.

Real classy.

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E June 24, 2013 at 6:22 am

I’m gluten intolerant, but being intolerant you have to learn to be tolerant. All the time food is around that I can’t eat. I put up with it.

And it doesn’t matter that they’re a same sex couple at all.

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Lo June 24, 2013 at 7:43 am

The brides are horrible but so is their guest.

I mean this is all so incredibly petty. And the fact that the guy didn’t take the high road, say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way” and refuse to participate in further life events makes me think he’s just as bad. He throwsout some pretty callous insults in the link.

There’s no excuse for the behavior of these rude women. There may be a reason for his kneejerk reaction rudeness in return but it’s not an excuse.

Boo on all of them! I would have been furious had someone rejected my gift this way but I wouldn’t have gone as far as he did.

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LeeLee88 June 24, 2013 at 8:23 am

I would have loved to receive this basket, especially since I could eat Sour Patch Kids by the pound, and Fluffy Whip is excellent on a piece of toast with peanut butter. When my husband and I got married, we needed everything, including food. Receiving a nice basket of both gourmets and fun food items is lovely in my book, and I think it’s really sad that these two bridezillas couldn’t appreciate a gift like this. Also – my job. That is how I make money for my future. Through, you know, gainful employment.

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PHW June 24, 2013 at 8:24 am

When I initially saw this story I just couldn’t believe me eyes. For people to be this incredibly rude is just unfathomable. When I got married, our wedding was to celebrate with family and friends, not to acquire gifts or “money for our future”.
As some of the other posters mentioned, it was the brides that took the photo of the basket after rearranging items and obviously removing or hiding some of the more gourmet products. The originally basket included – a wicker box with a hinged lid, filled with food items, most of them PC Black Label (gourmet food line from a Canadian grocery chain), including: tri-color pasta, salsas, Balsamic vinegar and Olive, Gourmet croutons, Panko Breading, Pesto, some baking ingredients, Biscuits from Godiva and a few ‘Fun’ items like Marshmallow Fluff, Sour Patch Kids and Butterscotch sauce.
I would have been more then grateful to receive this as a gift, as it shows the extra thought that went into putting it together.

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No Wedding June 24, 2013 at 9:55 am

When I was married, the ex and I got a very strange present from a friend of his mom’s – a baby doll wrapped up in a box for a cookie jar. I don’t know if they were trying to be clever (hee hee we’re giving you a baby on your wedding), thought there was a cookie jar in there, or were just really bizarre, but I sent them a thank you note thanking them for thinking of us with their gift. So if the brides didn’t like the picnic basket with food, just write a thank you note and donate it to a food pantry!

This “you need to pay for your part in the reception costs” and give at least $100 thing that I keep reading about is really making me not want to attend to any weddings. I have to really budget wisely/shop sales already for my own day-to-day needs, and especially with gifts for people, I am always shopping far ahead for birthdays/holidays, looking for really good sales. I’m a single mom with 2 kids, I honestly cannot afford the $100 for the honor of attending your wedding.

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Library Diva June 24, 2013 at 12:54 pm

Keep in mind, not everyone feels that way. I just got married, and the main thing I wanted out of the people I invited was that they attend…every decline I got made me a little sad, and the reason didn’t matter…I just wanted everyone to celebrate with us. I can’t be that much of an exception to the rule.

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Cat June 28, 2013 at 10:00 am

A friend of mine received a pull-over sweater with white bubbles on bright pink fabric. He thought that the relative who was giving the gift wrapped two gifts and then could not recall whose gift was whose, took a chance, and mailed him his sister’s present. Rather than embarrass the person, he passed the sweater on to me.

I wonder if the baby doll was meant for some little girl’s birthday and somewhere a child was wondering why she was given a toaster for her birthday.

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Lisa June 24, 2013 at 11:06 am

I think there’s plenty of blame to go around. The original gift was a lovely idea. Although I think in many cases, asking for the receipt is acceptable (What are you supposed to do with two gravy boats? Which is why so many stores now provide gift receipts.), in this case, it was a bit gauche. If you don’t like/can’t eat the foods, donate them to a food pantry or regift them to someone who would like them. And certainly the expectation that guests give money—and of a certain amount—is beyond the pale.

But . . . the giver could have responded with much more thought and consideration: “I’m so sorry that you can’t enjoy the gift. I’m afraid I didn’t keep the receipt. Please let me treat you and your new wife to dinner.” Although the giver has no obligation to give another gift, presumably you give something in the hopes that the recipient will enjoy it, so it’s a nice gesture to try to achieve that. Of course, if at that point the receiver shows her gimme pig ways, the giver can exert his polite spine to decline—and end it there, without the vitriol.

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VM June 24, 2013 at 11:17 am

When I saw they were blaming “cultural differences” and read one was Croatian, I had a flashback to a wedding I attended around…wow, was it thirty years ago? At the time my mother and I were in New York visiting an old childhood friend of hers, who had come from the same village on the Dalmatian coast as she did. Somehow we got invited to the wedding for the daughter of one of HER friends, also Croatian. We didn’t know the people at all, but my mother was informed that if we attended we needed to give an envelope with a certain amount of money per head (IIRC it was $75 each), as well as a gift. When my mother relayed the info to me she made it sound as mandatory as if it were the price of admission, and that it was completely to be expected.

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Kovitlac June 24, 2013 at 11:49 am

I hate it when people think that wedding gifts absolutely must be this huge, expensive undertaking by the guest. Yes, it’s wonderful when someone is willing and able to donate such a generous amount of money to a new couple. But as we all know, ANY gift is generous.

Just the other day I attended the wedding of my best friend, who had told me months ago that all she wanted was my presence (she knew I didn’t have a ton of money, and that the airfare had set me back a fair bit). But I really wanted to get her something nice, so I purchased a wax melter (shaped vaguely like a candle, but you set these small, scented wax cubes on a tray and let the melt). The bride has trouble lighting matches, so it was very practical, and the design was in her wedding colors and very pretty. Total cost: $10 for the melter, $2 for each other wax cube sets. So $14 total. Not an expensive gift, but I had put a lot of thought into it, and the bride was moved by it, as well as the card (which was also specifically chosen for her, with a heart-felt message inside).

I never once worried that my gift would go unappreciated, or even that I was expected to give a gift. But it’s people like these women here who contribute to “bridezillas” demanding certain gifts or certain amounts of money. ugh.

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penguin tummy June 24, 2013 at 12:11 pm

Wow! This story is unbelievable! I really hate that notion that one should ‘cover the cost of your plate’. It’s so hard to know how much it does cost, you don’t know what kind of discounts they may have gotten. I really hate giving money and much prefer to give a gift. My income has been very varied over the years and so I have to give what I can afford, not what I think it costs. i didn’t choose for the wedding to be a three course meal with alcohol!

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AMC June 24, 2013 at 12:23 pm

IMHO, I think the gift basket is an adorable idea and am tempted to repeat it, though hopefully to a much more appreciative couple.

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Tracy June 24, 2013 at 2:29 pm

I too find it amusing that people assume their guests know how much they’ve spent per plate, though perhaps, since these people were in the restaurant industry, they were more aware? Who knows.

However, I’m curious why it had to be pointed out that this was the wedding of a same sex couple. I kept waiting for that point to become relevant, and it never did.

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Kirsten June 24, 2013 at 5:18 pm

I think the point was that the giver lost his temper and told them their marriage was a sham because they’re same sex. He then admits he went too far and that was really rude of him. Also, it can be a bit confusing about Bride 1 and Bride 2. It took me a bit of time to realize how they fitted in – I thought it was a double wedding at first. Same sex marriages are new where I’m from.

I’ve read stories involving a male midwife and had to take a moment to work out who ‘he’ was. I’m not the brightest!

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