“Health guru” to the stars Rainbeau Mars will soon tie the knot with Hollywood business manager Michael Karlin, and she’s making one huge request: She wants each of her guests to do a three-week cleanse before her Big Day.
According to an email from her publicist, “Rainbeau hopes that by requesting her guests try out a vegan, and subsequently live food diet for 21 days, everyone will look and feel their best for HER big day.”
Guests can look forward to “unique activities ranging from breath work classes, to yoga and horseback riding,” at the “three-day summer affair on the island paradise of Kauai,” according to Mars’ publicist. Read here.
When I read “cleanse”, for a moment I thought she meant all guests having a colonic cleansing prior to her wedding in order to really be cleaned out. This is certainly taking control over the attire and well-being of the guests to a new level and presumes that feeling one’s best must involve a vegan diet.
{ 83 comments… read them below or add one }
Yeah, it’s totally ridiculous.
But honestly, if the stipulation for going to a three-day wedding in Kauai with sponsored activities requries 3-weeks of veganism; bring on the veggies!
If Rainbeau paid for my travel and hotel, I would eat vegan for 3 weeks.
Yes, with this one stipulation – If the bride and groom are paying, I’m in as well.
It’s not only vegan but “live” food, which I assume means Raw Foodism. Raw Foodists are the people vegans think are extreme. Also, they’re ridiculously unscientific.
As a vegan I can confirm, raw vegans do X-Treme veggie-ing. But, this pales in comparison to fruitarians (no grains).
Yeah, I would not be going, even if I were invited. It’s bad enough micomanaging what your guests wear (my niece-in-law requested that everyone dress in blue or green – kinda rude, but not something to cause a huge rift over), but to actually instruct people what to eat for weeks prior to the actual wedding? No way in E-Hell!
LOL you don’t know if she’s on cafemoms do you? Some lady there today was saying she was going to ask her guests to wear shades of blues. I’ve never laughed so hard about weddings.
Guests can look forward to “unique activities ranging from breath work classes, to yoga and horseback riding…”
LOL! Breathing and yoga and horseback riding are “unique” activities?
At a wedding? Yes.
For a wedding, they are. Most wedding activities consist of, well, a wedding. And maybe a reception, afterwards. Most of the time, guests can look forward to seeing their loved ones tie the knot, and then enjoy some refreshments and cheesy speeches.
Much as I would like to see Hawaii, I would not attend this wedding. Even if I were a vegan, and into yoga and horseback riding, I would not attend this wedding. If I ever make it to Hawaii, I will go on my OWN terms. And I will not change my diet for three weeks for “HER big day.”
What about the groom? Isn’t it HIS big day, too? I sure hope he’s already a vegan, because if he isn’t, he’s likely to have some serious issues with food-patrols, after they are married.
He’s a business manager. She’s a health guru. It was probably his suggestion on how to grow her business and get some free publicity!
You are probably right.
At the wedding itself? Maybe – on the yoga and horseback riding. I thought the bridezilla was intending for all the guests to spend the 3 weeks leading up to the wedding in Kauai (so she could supervise their food intake?) and was explaining that, in addition to the “preferred” diet, there was also a list of “preferred” activities…and there’s nothing “unique” about yoga or horseback riding. I wasn’t expecting these activities to be part of the wedding itself.
If someone’s going to be so controlling and intrusive as to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be eating and drinking for 3 weeks before you accept their hospitality, it’s not that much of a stretch to presume they’re also going to be so controlling as to determine what you should and shouldn’t be doing for those 3 weeks and so intrusive as to check on you.
Most bridezillas get slammed for making everything about “MY DAY”; this one wants to make it “MY MONTH”.
Note, she wants them to do this for HER day. I guess showing up dressed nicely and acting pleasant is passe.
Taking Bridezilla-Control Freak to a new high. Or is that a new low?
Just when you think you have heard everything, someone like this pops up and bursts your bubble. I have heard of brides requesting money, expensive gifts, costumes, avoiding her “colors”, and making rules for bridesmaids regarding weight, hair, make-up, etc. but this tops it all.
Not only does she want all the standards to be met, but she wants only beautiful people there. It would save a lot of time and trouble for the guests if she just issued each of them a paper bag to be worn over their heads during the ceremony and reception so as not to upset her with their true looks. Those who wish to watch the ceremony or to eat during the reception should make holes in their bags in the appropriate places.
I think it’s really offensive of her. I didn’t diet before my own wedding, I certainly wouldn’t do it for anyone else’s. Also, I’m already on a medically restricted diet and cutting out major food groups actually seems dangerous, not healthy. Quite frankly if I received an invite suggesting I was unhealthy and needed to change up my game I’d probably decline to attend. It’s a wedding invitation, not an informative pamphlet, truly one of those “time and place” things.
Side note, as a person who lives on Kauai I think she better reel in her additude. We’re a fairly happy laid back bunch. Divaish demands won’t go far here, unless she’s looking to make a scene and be talked about forever more…
This is from someone named Rainbeau…how could it be anything but ridiculous? If I got that request, I don’t think I’d be complying.
I was about to post the same thing. I wonder if she has taken that name for herself (in which case, oh dear) or if it really is her given name from birth (in which case… also oh dear).
Now, now. She can’t help what her parents chose to name her.
Of course, she may have changed her name.
Send her a vegan cookbook as a gift and stay home. Why do brides think they can run people’s lives?
I wonder if she’s paying for it? A 3 week detox diet cleanse is not a cheap thing to do. First of all just going vegan is not cheap. But a cleanse specifically is not just vegan, which would allow all fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, grains, as well as retaining popular beverages like coffee and tea, cleanses usually are very limited (no nuts, no cruciferious or highly acidic vegetables, no caffeine, limited grains, etc). It is also not something that should be done without consulting a Dr first for many people.
I have done cleanses, and they can be a good thing (particularly helpful in determining if a person has food sensitivities) but they are not easy. They cost a lot of money, they take a lot of time, they making eating out or attending parties very difficult, and they very much affect your mood and energy levels. Oh and to do one properly, foods need to be slowly re-introduced one food group at a time (although perhaps her 3 week program is that long because it includes reintroduction, as most cleanses are 1-2 weeks.)
I understand she’s not requiring her guests to do this, but its is still a very huge request to even consider making.
Yes, going vegan can be costly but only in the sense that changing one’s diet is expensive. You have to experiment with new foods to see what you like, your daily shopping patterns change, you don’t know which items you can get in bulk at the next store over, etc.
There are many ways to be vegan. You can go to pricey stores and buy pre-made and specialty items or you can buy whole foods and prepare meals at home. As a vegan myself, I spend less money now than when I ate animal products.
@Library Diva: while I agree with the “Rainbeau” pomposity — as well as that of the whole asinine invitation — I think the more apt part of the name is “Mars.” As in, she’s from.
Now that’s not nice. I know a kid named Mars, he is surprisingly down to earth. (pun slightly intended)
I would be sorely tempted to do the Supersize Me diet for 21 days prior to this wedding. Of course, I wouldn’t. But I’d definitely be stopping at McDonald’s on the way home from the reception as I doubt tofu canapés and raw food mains will be very satisfying.
This is where the evil ferret side of me would come out and I’d want to give a subscription to one of those mail order steak places or something like that as a gift. Or a gift basket of the fattiest meats and cheeses I could find.
“Evil ferret side”? That would be the weasel, right?
Ferrets are so cute!
Evil ferrets? I want one!
How is she going to know if they did it or not?
Honestly if you have hyper sensitive smell, you can smell if someone is a red meat eater or not… I know my ‘odors’ changed after doc put me on a vegan diet (mandatory, genetic cholesterol issues, no choice on my part)… and the diet change certainly wasn’t cheap.
If she can’t stand to have non-vegans at her wedding, then her working life must be sheer torture.
I like some of the ideas of sending her a gift box of steaks, but that is odds that that expensive gift will get tossed. Either send something like others said, a vegan cookbook, or just decline. It doesn’t sound like the bride is funding either having everyone come be at Kauai for 3 weeks to ‘cleanse’ first, and she probably isn’t funding her guests getting to the destination either.
Her loss. Decline. Send a nice card.
Maybe she’s going to inspect their… leavings. I wouldn’t put it past someone who makes a demand like this!
Really though… how is she going to know whether or not the guests complied? That’s the most humorous part to me, that she’s trying to exert control over something that’s impossible to control.
Honestly I think drastically altering my diet to all-veggies might not cause me to look and feel my best on her wedding day. Broccoli has a reputation, and I’d rather not be downing Bean-o to not embarrass myself.
All joking aside this is ridiculous. I’m wondering why no one around her has said “Um… boundaries?” and suggested this might not be a good idea. I’m betting she doesn’t hear ‘no’ a lot.
Good cow.
Sheesh, they’re supposed to be guests, not clients. Very presumptuous.
I’ve been vegetarian for over 20 years but if I received an invitation like that I’d eat three burgers a day for a month before the wedding.
That’s IT! She’s secretly in league with the “Beef, it’s what’s for dinner” coalition! It’s a trick!
The only solution is to boycott both meat AND vegetables. Chocolate for 21 days – MMMMmmmmmm!
You owe me a new keyboard. I just spit smoothie all over it. 😉
She owes me a new keyboard too, GWATY, though I could dream of a chocoholic chococentric diet…. 🙂
Serious note is serious:
Technically, chocolate isn’t vegan. Most chocolates are made with some amount of milk which is why I have to go and buy the $5 chocolate bar and not the $1 one. However, peanut butter and jelly on sourdough bread is perfectly vegan normally.
You have my vote Kirsten 🙂
my first thought is how is she going to prove that anyone actually followed those instructions?
Surprise toilet deposit inspections???
That’s the only noninvasive way. And from what I’ve seen of these Hollywood Health Guru type people on TV, I would not be surprised.
Somewhere there is a team of advertisers who start each work day by asking “how can we get people to spend even more money on their wedding?” And they come up with this.
I think this could have been a great thing if handled differently. Had she *invited* guests to try her program instead of requesting it, I think she would have gotten the same response rate without coming off like a bridezilla. If I were a guest, I can see trying her program for three weeks and seeing how it works in combination with the planned activities. I love experimenting with things like that, especially if given the kind of information and support I’m sure her guests got. But not everyone is like me, and all she has done is put off those who are going to say no no matter what.
Yes, if the invitation had specified that some kind of meditation ceremony or something was to be offered to guests and that the ceremony was supposed to do the most good after 3 weeks on a raw-food diet, it wouldn’t be so bad. But “look and feel their best for her big day?” No, you don’t get to specify that only the pretty people can come to your party. Okay, you can if you’re extremely discreet, but decreeing that people you’ve already invited aren’t pretty enough yet is beyond the pale!
I just read the HuffPo article and its comments. According to Ms. Mars she did simply “invite” folks to try it, and the journalist phrased it as a demand to make it more sensational. That sounds plausible, from what I have seen of the media.
Either way, what other people eat is none of her business.
I think, by definition, that is exactly what her business is.
I read the article, and it sounds like back pedaling just a bit. After all, a request is just that–a request. If she simply wanted to *invite* them to try it, she would’ve used that verbiage–and noted that a full menu will be available for people of all preferences.
And this: “everyone will look and feel their best for HER big day” makes whole thing strike me as very narcissistic.
A self-professed “health guru” (is there any other kind?) really should know that a sudden switch to a vegan diet can be extremely unhealthy. She shows that, not only is she a rude, demandibng Bridezilla, but she’s not competent in her “profession.”
Is she going to be monitoring the guests’ diets before HER big day? If one of her guests eats a burger, will she uninvite them? Is she going to have bouncers at the entrance, ready to smell the guests’ breath, to make sure no meat or dairy can be smelled on them?
And are these “unique” activities group activities, which all must attend, or are they offered as a choice to those who do not want to enjoy the beach, and get a tan?
There’s nothing that ticks me off quite as much as one person implying that their diet is superior to someone else’s. And the spelling of her name is like nails on a chalkboard.
My question is, how on earth would she know if people had stuck to her demand? If she’s looking for a ‘healthy glow’, two-three days of drinking only water and not cutting any foods out (except greasy or extremely processed foods) would have you looking pretty good.
And dramatically changing your diet to a vegan and ‘live’ diet suddenly, would involve ‘digestive distress’ in some people, and leave them fairly sick for days.
Of course, demanding someone change their diet for almost a month for a wedding is so outrageous, I don’t even need to question it – her logic is definitely not earth logic.
Buffy!
Ehell neau Rainbeau, I won’t geau! Any ‘health guru’ who even suggests a ‘cleanse’ is a quack, not a nutritionist. Not even an all-expenses paid spa weekend in Hawaii (which this is not) would entice me to make myself miserable and unhealthy for 3 weeks just to avoid offending the eyeballs of an entitled princess. And one more thing, Rainbeau Egeau Maniac, it isn’t your DAY, it is your WEDDING. The neaution that a couple eauns an entire day, along with the bodies of the unfortunate pawns, er, ‘guests’ is absurdly self centered and contreaulling. Which is pretty much what I would expect from someone called ‘Rainbeau’.
Your statement that a nutritionist wouldn’t suggest a “cleanse” is really not accurate. A diet “cleanse” is just another name for an elimination diet – a tool many nutritionists do use with clients to help determine food sensitivities. Many clients react better to the word “cleanse” then “elimination” which is why they are called that. When done properly (not just a vague “go vegan” directive) and under the supervision of a trained professional these diets can be very helpful.
I do definitely think this woman was out of line to suggest this to guests, but in general, please don’t discount anyone who every suggests such a thing.
An ‘elimination diet’ for medical reasons, such as to determine food allergies, is called an ‘elimination diet’, not a ‘cleanse’. The human body ‘cleanses’ itself. An elimination diet is done under medical supervision for a specific purpose unrelated to wedding attendance. There is not an allergy specialist on earth who will conflate the two, much less helpfully ‘suggest’ anyone forgo vital nutrition for no informational purpose and zero health benefit. She is not an allergy specialist. I realize that LA is hardly a bastion of reason, sanity, or even basic nutrition science, but even for LA, this is underwear-worn-over-the-pants crazy.
This!
Redblues: Here’s some fun for you. Re-read your message (out loud, if you want) from MY point of view: In my neck-of-the-woods, “BEAU” isn’t pronounced like “bow” as in rainbow; it’s pronounced “byew” as in beautiful. 🙂
Actually, when “beau” is used as an alternate word for a boyfriend or suitor, it is pronounced “bow”.
Wow. And I thought forcing bridesmaids to get a fake tan, grow their hair, or cover tattoos was a bit Bridezilla-ish.
How is she planning on monitoring this, exactly? Weigh-ins before the wedding?
Not a fan of this idea (cleansing, My day etc.), but I have to comment that it is not nice to make fun of somebodys name, no matter what it is. As far as I know, we are talking about this person’s given name which is something that person usually does not have control over (unless they change it later on).
Normally, I would agree. But in this case, Rainbeau’s extreme folly has invited criticism of everything to do with her person. If you’re a person whose parents have saddled them with a ridiculous name, perhaps you should make some effort NOT to live up to the expectations it evokes.
I doubt very much that this is her real name. She probably started life as Roseanne Marziewiecz, and even if she didn’t, once you’re an adult, in the US you have some wiggle room with your name. You can pretty much call yourself whatever you feel like as long as it’s not for fraudulent purposes and as long as you use your legal name in legal situations. I don’t feel bad making fun of this name because everything about it was engineered to stick in your mind.
Going vegan doesn’t mean going healthy. No primitive peoples have ever been completely vegan/vegetarian and the ones who ate less meat than others were easily subdued.
Of all the daffy, stupid things I’ve read, it has to be Reauinbeau’s wedding cleanse. What a dip!!
What is she saying?
“Hi, guys, wouldn’t it be great if you all do a cleanse and veganism for three weeks before the wedding? I want everybody to look and feel their best inside and out for MY big day!!”
“Hi, guys. We’ve got three weeks before MY big day. Wouldn’t it be fun if we all do a cleanse and vegan diet together for three weeks? I’ve always wanted to try these recipes, and we can have a cleansing vegan meal together every Saturday before the wedding.!”
“Hi guys. MY big day is coming up, and I want everyone healthy. Attached to this email is a strict diet regimen I expect you to follow. Also, my cousin Olaf, who was expelled from the Prussian Army for yelling to much at his troops, will come by your house every day to make sure you’re eating the right food.”
I would fail at following that ‘strict diet regimen’ and ‘vegan’ diet. Due to health reasons I eat pretty close to a paleo diet (aka the caveman diet) which is actually much healthier than the ‘fad’ diets and safer and easier to switch to. I might just find her proof that my diet is better and overall healither.
I’d be very tempted to post pictures of myself eating a big steak with a caption, “Can’t wait for your wedding!”
its like what was told to charlote in sex in the city when she said its my wedding week! and they told her, no you get a day. one day! yep . you may get a monoploy on your wedding day, but telling peole what to do for three weeks,in advance. uh uh
As far as I can tell, she wasn’t like, forcing anyone to actually do this, but she did include the suggestion in the invites…all an invite SHOULD contain is when, where, who, and maybe how to get there and hotels in the area. Don’t tell me anything about what I should wear or what I should eat beforehand, I’m a grown woman, I can figure it out myself.
I also got bored and went to check out her Facebook page (which is where I found out that this was included in the invites) and the only place they have registered is one particular charity, and she seems quite particular about the fact that guests should be sure to say that it’s in her and her fiance’s name.
You lost me at “Rainbeau”. SERIOUSLY???
Hey, she can’t control what she was named.
Unless she renamed herself.
I know. I would hand write steak on the response card if she had any food selections. Then send it in.
I’d go – but only after 21 days of Mac’s garbage bag chimichanga and instant insulin diet AND tracking down Lady Gaga’s (in)famous meat dress for my wedding attire.
Great job in not doing any research into the actual wording of the invite to this cleanse. Rainbeau hosts cleanses several times a year, it is part of her business. The actual “invitation” to the pre wedding cleanse was a world wide invite, not something that was put on her wedding invitations, or anything that should have been construed as a demand of any sort. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=6rZvaSk9rC4. The media twisted her words, as they are apt to do, and painted her as a bridezilla for the sensationalism. Of course, Rainbeau being Rainbeau, she has handled this with her usual class, kindness, and dignity….as anyone who had taken 2 minutes to look at her Facebook, or Twitter feed would have found out. Admin, perhaps the next time you want to bash someone, you should take some of your own etiquette advice and find out the truth behind the story.
While I do enjoy your site, your holier than thou attitude is at times very overbearing and misplaced. It’s very disappointing to have that come from someone who considers themselves to be an etiquette expert. Quite frankly, this post makes you seem very judgmental and close minded. And I know that you will either not post this, or will have a rude response about why you are not wrong, as I have noticed you often do when people disagree with you. Go for it…I won’t be reading. Good luck, and I hope in the future you learn that having a superiority complex is not the same thing as having good etiquette.
This is a quote from her publicist:
“Rainbeau hopes that by requesting her guests try out a vegan, and subsequently live food diet for 21 days, everyone will look and feel their best for HER big day.”
This particular cleanse is specifically for her guests, and “request” implies expectation. If she didn’t mean it in that sense, her PR person should’ve said “Guests are invited to try this, and Rainbeau will be offering full support and vegan menus for those who choose to participate. But whichever menu plan you choose, she hopes you’ll be happy and feel healthy, and most of all, that you’ll join her and her groom for many unique activities and be a part of HER big day!”
I’m wondering if this isn’t a case of a PR person run amok, rather than the bride’s intentions.
As someone with a dairy allergy, I often eat a lot of vegan food simply because it’s normally pretty safe. (I have other allergies so I do have to still read the ingredients completely). To me, although the way it’s being presented is rude, I am glad the idea of veganism is in the news again. Many people are VERY misinformed on veganism and think it’s just eating veggies and no cheese. Really, there is a lot of variety to the food and I love reading the vegan blogs to learn new things to try. (Vegan death by chocolate cake? Even my co-workers devoured it and want to know when I’m bringing it back in!)
I do eat meat – simply because it’s a dairy allergy and not a statement of any kind- but I’ve learned so much from veganism that I hope that this will encourage others to look more deeply into it.
If we have brides demanding their bridesmaids get Botox, could a colon cleanse actually be that far behind? (pun intended).
So, not only do I need to buy a ticket to Hawaii, and a wedding present, but I must also do a cleanse?
Yeah, no. And all of those “unique” activities sound like some kind of compulsory gym class that the bride will lead her hapless guests through before likely serving them more vegan food. I would only go if I had a subversive cousin/friend with a whiskey flask and a smuggled in package of beef jerky.
As a wedding guest, my commitment is limited to the day of the wedding – to bring (or mail earlier) a gift, to be appropriately dressed, to be on time, to behave politely, and to wish the couple a long and happy marriage. That’s it. I can volunteer to help the wedding couple by doing this or that, and someone close to me can politely ask me to do an extra duty here or there, but that’s straining the idea of “wedding guest”.
This is so profoundly out of bounds for what someone can impose on a wedding guest that it’s insane. If I were a guest, I might take advantage of some of the activities at the destination, but vegan? Live food? *Snort* NO.
Ohhh, gosh, I would love to see one of my Midwest male counterparts; i.e., beer-guzzling, meat-cheese-and-potato-loving-types would do at a reception like this! I’m all for eating healthy, but holy control freaks!
I wouldn’t be offended at whatever she/they want to serve at their reception, but being so over-interested in other peoples’ health ends up on the offensive end of the spectrum. I have lost track of the number of conversations I have witnessed between those with legitimate allergies, medically advised guidelines, having to avoid certain foods due to medications, etc…..and a health advocate who is advising the patient that they would be illness free if only they followed a certain set of dietary principals. This is thoroughly untrue, but if someone wishes to restrict their diet, hey, God bless ’em.
Bottom line: I would agree to follow the diet, then do what I wanted while smiling and nodding.