My mom and I have been arguing about the tackiness of my sister-in-law during her wedding planning, and I hope you can help us settle this!
My brother and I attended college in the South. While he was a senior, he met a freshman (whose family lived about thirty minutes away from the school). They fell in love, got engaged, and decided to marry in California, about 2,000 miles away.
My sister-in-law asked me to be a bridesmaid, and as I was already back home in California, I offered to do whatever I could to help ease their planning burden. She laughed, said no thanks, and then told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll get there some day.”
Now, this upset me quite a bit. What got me even more upset was that my family was not included in any wedding planning. I was e-mailed her bridesmaid dress of choice, and then also e-mailed the shoes I was to purchase. I was told that we were required to get our hair and makeup done on the day of the wedding. All of these things were to be at our expense.
My family was only told the location of the venue and what time to be there for pictures. I know that although my brother was the groom and traditionally the bride’s family is more involved, it broke my mother’s heart to not be allowed to help with any of the planning. It also hurt my father and me.
I think her behavior was quite rude and selfish, and my mother is willing to chalk it up to wedding stress (although her rude behavior continues a year later). What do you think? 0423-13
I believe that if the bride wants her attendants to wear a specific shoes, and particularly if she requires them to have professional hair and make-up done, then the bride is obligated to pay for those.
Why did your family not kick into high gear and plan the most delightful, extravagant rehearsal dinner? That is entirely the groom’s family’s responsibility to plan and execute. I’ve been to some great rehearsal dinners over the years, hosted by the parents of the groom who is their only child or there are no daughters to be married. So the groom’s mom plans a lovely dinner with coordinated linens, favors, even dancing. They look like wedding receptions frankly.
I look forward to when my son marries because I get to plan and host a great party the night before the wedding that doesn’t come with a lot of the stress baggage often associated with a wedding day reception.