About a month ago, my DIL called me for a favor. Her brother was getting married in a week, and their baker had cancelled on them and they would have no wedding cake! I decorate cakes as a hobby, mostly for family and friends, and have ten year’s experience. I made the cake for my DIL and son’s wedding. DIL had shown an interest in learning, and I had given her ONE lesson so far. She was asking to borrow my pans and supplies and was going to try to make their wedding cake herself.
I saw that as an impending disaster, so having some free time, I volunteered to make it as long as they provided the ingredients. She said, “Oh! I was hoping you’d say that!” I let DIL know that we (she was ‘helping’) would need two days, Thursday and Friday, to bake and decorate. I also gave her a list of everything that was needed.
On Wednesday, I called DIL to double-check what time she would be arriving at my house on Thursday. I was informed that she couldn’t make it Thursday, and that she hoped it wouldn’t be too much trouble to do it all on Friday. For whatever reason, she couldn’t even bring the ingredients so that I could start baking on Thursday without her.
On Friday morning, DIL arrives, and is missing some ingredients. My daughter is called and agrees to run by MOG’s house to pick up missing items. She arrives, and I find one ingredient on my list had been overlooked and not purchased at all. DIL has to run to the store. We finally get to work, and finish the three tiers about 9 pm. I also had to figure out a way to make the topper work on top of the cake. I go with her on Saturday morning to the venue to set up the cake, since she knows nothing about delivering, stacking tiers, etc.
The cake turned out very nicely, and looked just like the photo I was given of the cake they liked. Here’s my issue: I’ve not heard a word of thanks since. I know one should not be expecting thank-yous, but a wedding cake is kind of a big deal, and I don’t know how they would have had one without my help. Am I wrong to feel that way? 1017-12
If the wedding was just a month ago, I’d give it a little more time before completely writing off your DIL’s family as crass and ungrateful.
That said, if I were the recipient of such a favor, you better believe I would have sent the most gushingly grateful letter of appreciation along with a gift to compensate you as quickly as possible. Unfortunately we live in a culture where people have an expectation that they are owed other people’s time, talent and money based simply on the merits of being engaged to marry. Next time, treat “favors” as business transactions where a price is determined for the labor being sought.