Sing A Song of Spinefulness!

by admin on September 6, 2012

I thought of this when I read “Added Guests On The RSVP Want To Sing A New Song.”

On the day of an old friend’s reception, I was helping decorate the venue. Bride’s Aunt, also a friend of my family, asked me if I was singing at the reception. I told her no. She asked why. I stated the obvious: I hadn’t been asked to.

Just then the bride walks by, and Aunt stage-whispers to me that I should just ask the bride if I can sing, because, “she’ll say yes!”

I said, “No, I don’t think so.” On top of the faux pas of inviting oneself to sing at a reception, I’m sure the bride was busy enough with everything and didn’t need to be bothered by me or Aunt for such an odd request.

Aunt seemed to think I must deeply want to sing at the reception, but I’m not so desperate to perform that I invite myself to sing at other people’s events.

Maybe Aunt had the best of intentions, but it was the couple’s day, not mine. I really hope she never approached the bride with the idea, but if she did, the bride must have had a polite spine! 0627-12

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Cat September 6, 2012 at 10:29 am

I think I’d have told auntie that I would be happy to sing if she would bring her bongo drums and play along. You were quite right not to insist on taking center stage at someone else’s wedding. It’s not amateur night. It might have opened the door to little Susie showing how well her tap dancing lessons are going and Junior reciting something from Shakespeare, “Is this a dagger I see before me?”.
There has been a wonderful cartoon in the local paper about a young girl who insisted that her band play at a relative’s wedding reception. The bride finds herself dancing with her new husband to a tune dealing with werewolves.

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mechtilde September 8, 2012 at 7:23 am

Auntie sounds quite capable of finding some bongos…

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MidoriBird January 3, 2013 at 11:50 am

My dad has a set…pretty good with them too! Hehe

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Katy September 6, 2012 at 11:25 am

Thank you for realizing the tackiness of intruding on your friend’s wedding and not pushing things despite being pushed to do so. It’s refreshing to see that there are people out there who still have spines in uncomfortable situations.
As an aside, did we ever hear back from the original “Added guests want to sing” poster? I’m eager to hear what happened, but I’ve been busy and might have missed it.

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b-rock September 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

i want to know about this too! i checked back for several days but never saw another update, and finally stopped stalking the thread.

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Ashley September 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm

How odd…At least bride to be never seemed to overhear any of it.

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Library Diva September 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I think that once it gets out that you are musical, some people expect you to perform wherever there’s music. It’s very possible that the bride considered having the OP sing, but decided she’d rather just have her enjoy the day. A relative of mine once told me that: they’d considered asking me to play my instrument for a wedding, but decided they just wanted me to relax, enjoy and have a good time. Hearing that meant as much to me as if they’d actually asked me!

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Stacey Frith-Smith September 7, 2012 at 1:57 am

Why would Aunt try to insist that you invite yourself to be the star entertainer? I have to wonder what was going on in her head that she seemed to have such a vested interest in your activities and the outcome. Weddings and other notable occasions (graduations, funerals, anniversary parties) really seem to bring out the kinks in otherwise normal folks. The only thing I can come up with to explain Aunt’s interest is that she would have enjoyed being involved in the planning and would have been credited with suggesting a great idea if the bride approved you to sing? (Though I notice she took no risks by proposing it herself.) Nope. Still a forehead smacker to me. Kudos to you for having both common courtesy and a polite spine, OP!

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confused September 7, 2012 at 3:49 am

I considered having musical friends and relatives sing at our wedding ceremony. I decided against it after a while, because a) it would take a lot of organisation b) they would not be able to relax and enjoy the ceremony. Where I’m from it’s common to have an hour or more towards the end of the evening where people perform their “party piece” whether that is music, poetry, jokes, whatever, so anyone who wants to perform can do so then. It could well be that the bride had also considered this and mentioned the OP to her aunt as someone who was a talented singer, and Aunt was wondering what had come of it. In any case, well done OP for realising it was a day for the couple to shine, not for you to give a recital!

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Enna September 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

It’s not nice to put someone on the spot like that. One thing if the bride asks and only if the person is happy to do it.

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