My then-boyfriend was asked to be a groomsman in a friend’s wedding. All was going fine until he woke up in the middle of the night before the wedding with a fever and a bad case of the flu. He tried to call the bride and groom who lived together that morning and tell them he was too sick to come, but the bride threw a fit and said he absolutely had to be there. He ended up having to have a friend drive him to the ceremony site because he was so sick, but managed to get to the site in time. He ended up having to leave during the ceremony to be sick again, and the bride was furious. When he went to the groom and bride after the ceremony to tell them he was too sick to go to the reception and needed to go home, again the bride was furious that he wasn’t going to be there for post-ceremony pictures and there wouldn’t be anyone to dance with the bridesmaid he escorted down the aisle. He never heard from the couple again and never received a thank-you note for the gift he sent.
I never understood the bridezilla’s thinking. If I were a bride and someone in the bridal party called up and said they had the flu, I’d be telling them to stay home!
I’m wondering what the edame and ehellions would say if they were in the groomsman’s position. Is this the time for a polite spine and to tell the bride or groom, “I am too sick and cannot accommodate your request?” Or if they are that insistent, do you show up with your wedding present of the flu? What is the etiquette in the situation if a member of the bridal party gets sick and cannot attend? 0820-12
The etiquette is, you go home to bed after giving your hosts and the guests of honor the courtesy of informing them you are too ill to continue enjoying their hospitality.
This is one of those pivotal moments in the life of a relationship where you will discover the content of the character of the people you call “friend”. And sometimes there is an ugly epiphany that people you thought cared for you are not who you thought they were. Sometimes I think God arranges these relationship dust ups to allow us to see that we have been investing our precious resources on unworthy people and that is time to find more suitable friends.