My sweetheart and I were recently (3 weeks ago) married. We had a rather large turn out for our ceremony and reception, so it was a little more difficult for us to make sure that we greeted all our guests properly. I wish we would have had a better method of socializing, because I would have realized that we had a few uninvited guests. One of them being a foster sister of mine from many years back. She had heard through the grapevine that I was getting married, and assumed that she had “misplaced” her invitation. Now… normally I’m a very tolerant person, so I chose not to care that we had a few strays; However, in hindsight I wish I would have asked her to leave.
During our cake cutting, I warned my husband not to smash cake in my face. (I don’t know where that “tradition” started, but i think its tacky, and mean. Why would any bride spend 30 minutes on makeup just to have to wash it off and start over an hour later?) He was the utmost gentleman, and fed me the cake very sweetly. No mess whatsoever. I in turn fed him cleanly and sweetly. Just as we were smiling for our photographer, I heard her voice from behind me, “I can’t let my sister get away without cake on her face!” She then reached between me and my new husband, into our $$$ cake, scraped off a piece with her bare hand, and smeared it onto my face! The frosting (Chocolate) then dripped onto the bust of my gown, on my arm and onto my waist. The stain didn’t come out. It’s in most of the pictures.
I did not handle it well, or lady like. 0718-12
I have to admit that a cake smash of a family member would have tested my limits of good manners. I, too, find them tacky, humiliating, juvenile and often manipulative (“Oh, be a good sport about it, I was only joking”). I’ve told the story many times of standing by a cake table preparing to help cut and serve the cake only to witness the bride and groom smash their best man and maid of honor, sending Crisco-based cake icing onto an expensive rented tuxedo, a silk dress, the walls, the carpeting. The entire room of guest tittered with laughter until they began to notice me standing there with a poker face. At least 30 people came up to me later to inquire what was wrong with the cake smash. Hmmm, let’s see….the best man and MOH are the butt of the joke, BM probably lost the deposit on the tuxedo since the icing needed to be dry cleaned out, the MOH’s expensive silk dress was now ruined, one of my staff would now have to wipe down the wall and carpet clean the carpeting creating more work for us. It was an incredibly selfish, immature thing to do. I am still surprised years later that I had to explain that to people.
If I had been your mother, OP, I would have walked up to the cake smashing guest and told her, “Thank you for coming to the wedding but I do believe it is time for you to leave right now. Let me help you gather your things. Would you like an escort to your car? I’m sure my son Quido would love to accommodate you.”