This is not a rant, but I am hoping that you can help me avoid becoming a rude bride. I am part of a large group of women, some of whom are my best friends, others who I see in the context of group nights out and are only acquaintances on the basis of being in the group. On the rare occasion that I organize a group night out I invite the others as a matter of course and people invariably end up chatting to their good friends anyway. My problem is that I would really like to invite my close friends from the group to the wedding (4 women) and not the others (6 women) as I either do not know them that well or dislike them.
Can I send wedding invitations to less than half of a group of friends or should I just suck it up and invite the others too (bearing in mind that our venue holds no more than 130 people)? As well as this: if I do not invite them all to the wedding, can I organise a group night out shortly after the engagement to announce it? This would NOT be an engagement party, merely a way of letting people know about an engagement which has not yet been officially announced.
I would greatly appreciate any input you could give me on this. 0426-12
Point 1) You are under no obligation to invite people whom you would not otherwise choose to socialize with. Co-workers, for example. Just because one works all day with someone doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship extends to social hospitality outside of the office. That said, you need to weight the cost of cementing forever the social divide between you and six other women with whom you seem to routinely socialize. One of the bad things about weddings is they seem to be catalysts for every possible way for someone to get offended and if the potential exists for friendship world war 3, then you must decide if not invited them is worth it. I’m not saying you are obligated to invite the but just be sure you are prepared to ignore the offended whines.
Point 2) If you choose to not invite the other six ladies in your group, don’t organize anything that has the appearance of possibly rubbing in their faces what they are missing. Discretion is your friend. If you do not talk about your wedding in front of them, they have less opportunity to ask you about their missing invitations. It’s a kindness to be discreet.