I’ve been reading this site for months as I prepare for my own wedding. It’s been both educational and entertaining, thank you so much! Now I have some questions and hope to get some advice/views. Thanks in advance for sharing.
Some background: over where I am, it is common to throw a wedding banquet, typically an eight-course dinner at a hotel’s ballroom. The bride would usually wear a white wedding dress and change into a coloured gown midway through the evening. Also, the bride and groom would usually sit at a table with their immediate family; this table would be known as the VIP table. That’s how it is here.
So, I have my wedding gown and decided to wear purple for my evening gown. I went dress shopping with my future SIL (my fiancé’s sister) and here’s when my confusion starts.
First, my future SIL decided she wanted to wear a white dress to the dinner. I confess, at first I was stunned – I had the impression that only the bride wears white at the wedding. Then I thought how ridiculous it was for me to feel that I “owned” a colour just by virtue of getting married, so I didn’t say anything and put it out of my mind. Regardless, I would very much appreciate getting a sensing of this “only the bride wears white to a wedding” thing – was it simply a mistaken impression of mine, or is more commonly accepted than I initially thought?
Thereafter, my future SIL asked me what colour was I going to wear during the second half of the evening. I told her purple and she said, “ok, then I’ll wear your wedding colours so we’ll match!”. This got me even more confused! My thinking is that if there is going to be any colour coordination at a wedding, it’ll be the bride and groom inviting interested parties to do so, and not guests inviting themselves? I mean, it’s one thing for guests to turn up wearing purple (in no way am I suggesting that no one else should wear purple just because me and my fiancé are going to!), but isn’t it quite another matter for a guest to decide to dress in matching colours when neither the bride nor groom had indicated that this is something they desire? Please let me have your thoughts on this! 0411-12
An all white dress worn by a female guest is typically considered to be tacky since all white is an iconic symbol of being a bride. It starts to look like the guest is competing with the bride for attention, or at least confusing the guests as to who really thinks they are the bride that day. A wedding is one occasion a woman can refrain fro wearing white if she is not the bride. The deprivation won’t kill her.
I wouldn’t worry your little heart about what colors your guests choose to wear to your wedding. It’s not as though you can dictate to people what they are to wear or not wear with certain colors being off limits.