My cousin recently went to a wedding in a large Victorian glasshouse in England. It’s a beautiful building, full of large palms etc., restored to its former glory. The couple are lovely, all is wonderful.
The only problem comes with the rings. The bride and groom are animal lovers, and also big fans of Harry Potter, so they arranged to have an owl swoop down with the rings at the right moment, to land on the best man. The best man is fine with this because he’s the same, they rehearse. On the wedding day itself, the owl sweeps down to oohs and aahs.
Then it piddles all over the rings and the best man’s hand.
The poor best man, with wet rings and a handful of owl pee, no handkerchief, in the middle of a glasshouse with the loos outside, at the crucial part of the service, panics and does the best he can to keep things going.
He wipes his hand and the rings on his trousers and the ceremony goes ahead.
Fortunately all three of them laughed it off and the best man found a spare pair of trousers afterwards. But which is the greater faux pas? Should the best man have stopped the service to wash the rings and his hands, so that everyone knew about the owl pee? Or was it better to be stalwart and take it on the trousers? 0402-12
Hmm, isn’t avian effluent actually a combination of pee and liquidy poop? And from a bird that size, the poop is pretty hard to miss. A good wedding coordinator would have been watching the ceremony like a hawk and discreetly handed off some moist, antiseptic towelettes to the Best Man to clean himself and the rings. Wedding ceremonies should not be viewed as being so formal that necessary interruptions are considered a faux pas. I’ve carefully and as unobtrusively as possible handed off cold bottles of water to overheated attendants, encouraged dizzy bridesmaids to sit down, handed hankies to sniffly/sneezy groomsmen during ceremonies.
If it was just pee, sacrifice the trousers. Particularly if there is no coordinator to bail him out of the dilemma. And consider buying this for your Best Man as a gift for his self sacrifice.