Gimme, Gimme, Gimme That Gown!

by admin on March 13, 2013

Yep, this is a repeat story because for some reason a copy was left in the Draft folder.   But it’s an oldie but goodie worth reading again.
A week ago, having finally paid off my wedding dress, I went to the bridal store for my first fitting. My dress has three fabric colour options (white, ivory and red), and three lace colour options (white, ivory and black). Most people who choose the black lace choose the red fabric, however, I chose ivory fabric with black lace.I had been laced into my gown and had come out to the mirrors, when another customer nearby pointed at me and loudly declared “I’m going to try on that one”. The consultant went to fetch the sample, which is red and black. Te woman looked at it and said “NO. I will try on the black and white one”. The consultant explained that they didn’t have a sample in that combination, but that she could try the red for size and if she liked it, order it in ivory as I had.The woman threw a screaming tantrum, demanding that she be the next one to try on the dress. The manager came over and explained that it was not their dress, it was mine, it was not theirs to let other people try. She responded that if it was still in the shop it was ‘fair game’.

She then marched over to me, and said, “I’ll be trying that on next”. I replied that she would not, as it was my personal property and was not comfortable letting strangers try on my wedding gown. She responded that she would just try it as soon as I left. I ignored her, and told my seamstress that if their establishment would allow that to happen, I would take my dress with me right away, and have alterations elsewhere.

Thankfully security escorted her out at that point, but I just could not believe the pure cheek of someone demanding  to try on someone else’s wedding dress!   1111-11

{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Sorgatani March 13, 2013 at 5:45 am

It looks familiar to me, I think I found the submission
http://weddinghellsbells.com/?p=5682
Your Dress Isn’t Your Dress If I Want It
November 14, 2011

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essie March 13, 2013 at 6:50 am

We reserved the church for our wedding over twoyears

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essie March 13, 2013 at 7:04 am

We reserved the church for our wedding over TWO YEARS in advance. Some people laughed, but we knew it was necessary because it’s a popular site for weddings due to it’s charm and beauty. I had been a member of that church since I was an infant – and my grandparents (and their children) had been members since the end of World War II so, despite the giggles over the time-frame, there was no problem or questions about the reservation.

SIX WEEKS before the wedding, someone from the church called my mother’s house, trying to reach me. They wanted to know if we’d be willing to move our wedding to another time because someone else had just seen it (as a tourist), loved it as a venue, and decided to use it for their wedding – at the same date and time we had already reserved it for ours!

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Nancy March 13, 2013 at 3:13 pm

Some people just aren’t accustomed to the word “no.”

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Marozia March 14, 2013 at 5:57 am

Hopefully you told them, a resounding “NO”. How vulgar are those people??

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gellchom March 15, 2013 at 5:05 pm

Well, all they did was ask. I can’t really call that vulgar. You never know — sometimes the person you’re asking says something like, “You know what, that actually would work better for me anyway.”
If they were demanding or acting like it would be rude to refuse, sure, but all they did was ask — politely, so far as we can tell — the venue to ask the people who had reserved the venue if they would by any chance be willing to reschedule. That’s not inherently rude, unless you are of the school of thought that says “I have trouble saying no, therefore it’s always rude for anyone to ask me for anything.” I sympathize with people who have trouble saying no, but that doesn’t make asking nicely for a favor rude or vulgar.

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bloo March 15, 2013 at 8:03 pm

I think the ‘vulgar’ part comes in when it’s a tourist that just thinks this church is just so glittery-sparkly-and-perfect when they’re not even a member of it. Asking a member to give up their two-year reservation because they want it for aesthetic reasons is pretty audacious.

Granted, the asker may not have known that the reservation was made two years in advance and the truly gross behavior is by whomever gave the asker essie’s contact info. Also, if the church takes reservations from non-members then the request is not out-of-bounds.

My own place of worship would not allow non-members to use it for their wedding. So it seems ‘off’ to me for a non-member, non-local to contact me asking me to move my wedding date/time.

As an aside, if you’ve hired a caterer and a DJ and photographer, etc., than 6 weeks would not be enough time to reschedule without large fees, I would imagine.

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Lo March 13, 2013 at 7:43 am

I remember reading this one! This is nuts! At least once the immediate danger of being attacked by a crazy bride was over, the submitter must have been flattered that she clearly made the right choice if the dress was so attractive.

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KiKi March 13, 2013 at 8:58 am

I remember this one. What a sense of entitlement!! I would never dare dream of trying on someone else’s dress. I’m really glad the store escorted her out the door and stuck up for what was right.

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Mer March 13, 2013 at 10:01 am

Some people…

This brought my mind a small incident few days ago. In this dress-case, situation is very clear, but my incident left me wondering, what is proper etiquette when goods have not been paid for yet.

Situation was such that I was in store, looking for “something interesting” and found few items of my liking. Scene was such that I was standing in front of two tiered table, where the lower tier was wider (just imagine a wedding cake :) ). Items I choose were on the upper shelve and I took them in my hands, continuing to look if there was other interesting things on the table. By this time, other woman had come next to me to look at the same table.

Now I had flu at that time so at one point I had to blow my nose, so I set the few items on the table in front of me (the lower tier, not in their original place) and proceed to search my handbag for paper and take care of the runny nose issue. I was still standing in front of my items but of course turning my head away as not to be too gross. Now the woman next to me took the items I just a few moments ago held in my hand and started to examine them and evidently chose to buy them as she gathered them with her other items. At that point I was slightly taken aback as personally I would not take stuff that someone else was quite clearly planning to purchase. However as I of course did not have any possession rights and I could clearly see (as she should have too) that there were few more exactly same products on the upper shelve and thought that I could as well take one of those.

I was just left to wonder, how much of a “law of the jungle” there is considering soon-to-be purchased products. And should the situation be different, such as those were last ones, had I been overly rude if I have told that I was planning to purchase those very items.

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Wendy B. March 13, 2013 at 12:00 pm

I think I’d have spoken up, politely, and said that those were yours and you had only put them down for a moment. She might have picked them up absentmindedly.

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Lo March 13, 2013 at 12:09 pm

That’s definitely a tricky situation. Here’s my opinion:

I think the woman was rude to take them without asking if you were planning to buy them. It would have been polite to inquire of you if you were purchasing them or were just putting them back. Then you could have told her you were going to purchase them and in a perfect world that would be it.

Since she didn’t ask, I think it’s perfectly fine to say, “Excuse me, I was just getting a tissue, I had planned to purchase those.” Make a statement of intent, don’t ask if it’s okay to have them back or any other question that she could decline. Just state that you were going to buy them. It’s up to her to do the right thing– return them. If she takes them anyway then you have to let them go because it would be rude for you to pursue the issue.

Ideally etiquette is about standing up for what you want without behaving as though you are entitled to it (if it’s up for grabs)

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gellchom March 15, 2013 at 5:06 pm

This is perfect. Why assume the worst of the other shopper?

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Michelle C. Young March 18, 2013 at 1:43 pm

Lo, I agree completely.

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LovleAnjel March 13, 2013 at 1:10 pm

What the woman did is no different than reaching into your grocery cart, taking your milk & bread and putting them into her own cart. Yes, sometimes shoppers won’t put items back if they decide against buying them, but she should have asked you if you were purchasing them or where you saw them. Sometimes I can’t reach the top tier of a display, but I’d ask for help before snatching someone else’s items.

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NostalgicGal March 14, 2013 at 12:46 am

I’ve been in stores at holiday times and had that sort of stuff happen, maybe not my milk, bread, butter, or cheese, but definitely people grabbing stuff they wanted out of my cart! “Excuse me, but that was in MY cart…” and they ignore me and hang onto it and leave.

One reason I can love Amazon and Amazon Prime. Click, choose where to ship, pay, and in 2 days it’s there. ….

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Michelle C. Young March 18, 2013 at 1:46 pm

Ugh! Holiday shopping! I hate it with a passion.

I do my present shopping as early as I can, these days. Preferably before Thanksgiving. After that, I don’t want to go in any store, if I can avoid it, until mid-January. Grocery shopping is all I can handle from Thanksgiving on.

I, too, love online shopping. You know, some sites even have “Black Friday” sales, so you can get those fantastic deals, and nobody gets crushed.

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AS March 14, 2013 at 3:20 pm

@Mer: could it be that the other woman would have thought that you put down the items and didn’t need it? I mean, you had turned away, and probably she thought that you are done looking at the items. She might not have seem the other similar items in the top shelf, or that you are one of those who just don’t care to put things back in its original place (it is surprising how many such people exist; and not knowing you, she could have thought that you were one of them). If there weren’t any more items of the same kind available, maybe it is right etiquette wise to politely tell her that you are not done looking at the things.

Anyways, not many people go jewelry shopping when they have the flu (and maybe you shouldn’t have gone either, like another commenter pointed out before). So, this is probably a rare occasion where a person turns away from something they are looking at. I would cut the other woman a little slack, because she might have genuinely thought that you finished looking at the item.

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MsDani313 March 13, 2013 at 11:47 am

@Mer: All I got from your post was “Now I had flu at that time..”

Really you had the flu and decided to go shopping. Now that is an etiquette fail.

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Mer March 13, 2013 at 5:12 pm

Yes, that is true, originally I was actually going only to pick up some hankies as I was running low, but was distracted by “-70% on crafts items” and popped in to see if there was anything that would be useful for me. But you are absolutely right, it is not good manners to run around while sick, at least if one does not have to. Though reality is that some shopping (usually for groceries) needs to be done, flu or not. But this was not excuse for me, as crafts items are not living necessities.

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Michelle C. Young March 18, 2013 at 1:49 pm

Oh, wow! I hadn’t even noticed that, but you’re right. I’m susceptible, and I hate it when people expose me to germs they don’t need to. My nephew has been trying to get perfect attendance at school this year, and I was so PROUD of him for giving up that goal when he had a fever, because he didn’t want to share his germs with other people. It was hard for him to give up the dream of perfect attendance, but he did understand the “keep your germs to yourself” rule. What a great guy!

And now I’m thinking of “The Mirror Cracked,” by Agatha Christie. I won’t spoil it for you, but this really reminds me of it. I love Miss Marple!

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WildIrishRose March 21, 2013 at 4:22 pm

That is my all-time favorite Agatha Christie story! Miss Marple is the best. Well, next to Poirot. :)

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Library Diva March 13, 2013 at 11:52 am

Normally I’d say this is appalling behavior, but this dress is so beautiful that I could understand forgetting one’s manners in its presence! I even contacted admin about the dress’s source, but was unable to get one in the US for my own wedding. I love the dress I do have, and am really looking forward to wearing it, but the OP of this story did get a truly stunning dress, and I could see why it provoked an extreme reaction, although of course, the woman should have stifled her impulse to grab at it.

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Ashley March 13, 2013 at 11:54 am

I remember this story. I still can’t believe she just couldn’t get it though her head that it was OP’s bought and paid for dress…

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Cat March 13, 2013 at 3:18 pm

I, too, recall this situation from earlier. Expecting someone to let you “try on” their wedding dress is rather like expecting them to let you use their toothbrush. Some things you just don’t do.
I would have had my hand over my mouth stopping myself from asking if she also expected to try on my undergarments. She did not seem to have personal limits.

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Michelle C. Young March 18, 2013 at 1:50 pm

Bwaaahhahahahaha! OK, now I have to clean my screen.

Cat, you are delightful!

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NostalgicGal March 20, 2013 at 3:02 pm

Oh I totally agree, didn’t quite have to mop my keyboard but, that is a great reply to store if it’s ever needed… Cat that is a jewel!

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travestine March 13, 2013 at 3:35 pm

I work with bridesmaids. Quite often, we only have one sample dress, in one size and in one colour (we have over 500 hundred long and short dresses from a dozen popular designers). I’ve had situations where brides have liked a dress but insisted in seeing a sample of ‘her’ colour before she’ll buy. On occasion, we may have an order for the dress in the back and, lo and behold, it’s in ‘her’ colour or something quite similar. This happened to me the other day. I made it clear that her bridesmaid could hold the dress up to her so they could get a look at the colour against her skin BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES would they be permitted to try the dress on. Once the dress came out, I coud see the bride loved it and I could see the bride’s mother angling to let me let them ‘just try’ it, but I have a pretty good ‘mom face’ myself. I never let that dress out of my hands and there was NO WAY that dress was going on anyone’s body but the bridemaid it was purchased for. I got the sale!

We have had girls, however (who didn’t last long) who have been indimidated into letting bridal parties try on purchased dresses. Bridal is a tough business. Brides, MOBs and bridesmaids are very focuses and you have to be very strong, firm but polite to let them know their boundaries.

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AS March 14, 2013 at 3:28 pm

I am glad that people like you work in bridal shops. The non-chain bridal store I got my dress from had held my dress until the day before my wedding (it was in the same town, and I was happy not to cram a gown in my overcrowded 1-bedroom apartment). I would have been pretty unhappy if someone else had tried on my dress. I was not a fussy bride, but I don’t want someone to try on a piece of clothing I have already purchased, and definitely not my custom-made and altered wedding dress. I had a pretty inexpensive wedding dress, but the sentiments behind it are priceless!

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Michelle C. Young March 18, 2013 at 1:55 pm

Yeah and what if the person trying it on stained it, or tore it? Just a little trip, and BOOM! No more wedding gown.

I was at a wedding, once, where shortly before the ceremony, the bride’s sister spilled burgundy nail polish (!!!) on the wedding gown. Only the fact that they were in the church building saved the bride from a melt-down, but she was so flushed that she almost matched the nail polish.

I think they covered it up with a bow, or something, though, because she was calm and all-white again for the ceremony. Shucks, maybe they just used white duct tape? It comes in colors, you know, and her mother was one of those resourceful, practical women who seem to be able to fix anything.

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Marozia March 14, 2013 at 6:07 am

If it’s in the shop “it’s fair game”!! Not if it’s altered to fit and paid for, it isn’t.
Just as well that Security was there to escort this gimme-gown-pig out.
The utter nerve of some people. Hopefully, this was caught on the store’s security cameras?

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Michelle C. Young March 18, 2013 at 1:56 pm

And if it were already altered, trying it on would be useless, anyway.

Did this store have bouncers? Judging from this site, it seems a necessity.

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AS March 14, 2013 at 4:26 pm

I remember this post from before too.

I never understand how the brains of some people work. Imagine a scenario where you purchase a t-shirt from Land’s End. Then, another girl likes your choice (which was the last piece), and throws a fit that she wants to try it on. Would you allow her to try it? Most probably not. That it is only a t-shirt; which has probably been tried on several times before!
How can someone think that it is alright to try on a custom made bridal dress? And her logic that “if it was still in the shop it was ‘fair game’” is ridiculous! Entitlement too much!

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OP March 15, 2013 at 7:33 pm

This is a blast from the past!

For those who missed it the first time, this is/was the actual dress : http://www.stillwhite.com.au/for-sale/4836/jean-fox-ball-gown-ivory-with-black-lace-size-10-12

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NostalgicGal March 20, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Much nicer pictures than with the original article… and wowzie on the price. I’d be having a bit of a faint if I had laid out that much (it is a really gorgeous dress though) and someone else DEMANDED to try it on after I’d bought it.

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OP March 22, 2013 at 12:39 am

(I actually it on sale, that’s the RRP. Still wasn’t cheap though)

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