Taking A Theme Way Too Far

by admin on October 18, 2011

 

 

I stumbled across this link recently when looking up Kryal Castle in Melbourne:

http://jamesandsueswedding.com/attire.html

The couple had a theme wedding at the replica castle. I couldn’t get over their attire page. The outfits they link to are very expensive, and to specify the exact date periods for the costumes and examples of appropriate wear (and inappropriate – god forbid someone just turn up to the wedding wearing nice formal clothes!) seemed a bit outrageous.

Another example of a couple making their wedding day fantasy more important than any consideration for their guests. 1014-11

 

I have friends who are historical re-enactors and among them they disdainfully refer to any costume not historically accurate as “Farby”.  As in “far be it for me to tell you your costume is a joke”.   Renting such costumes, assuming you can even find historically accurate costuming, is very expensive.  Purchasing a costume can be even more costly.   That’s a sad financial burden to place on loved ones as the price of admission to see you wed.

{ 123 comments… read them below or add one }

MissShoe October 18, 2011 at 11:31 pm

I live quite close to the “venue” and let me tell you, historical accuracy is not one of its strong points – nor is good service or cleanliness but that is another matter. It was built in about 1970.

The castle had been on the market for over a year, approaches to turn it into a high end bordello were turned down – for the last few years its been a venue for dance parties etc.

For people being quite uppity about guests being authentic, they didnt really put that much focus on venue selection

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LEMon October 19, 2011 at 6:51 am

The tone on the attire page seemed so heavy handed and negative.

Had to laugh at their suggestions for period attire. Apparently what cloth and what colors you use doesn’t matter so long as it looks rich.

Wonder if anyone showed up in the long, curled toe shoes?

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MellowedOne October 19, 2011 at 8:21 am

@Gena: “This just goes with one of my pet peeves, that too many people emphasize the wedding WAY more than the marriage.”

Couldn’t agree more!

Yes, everyone has a right to choose what they will wear at their wedding. But seriously, this is supposed to be a serious lifetime commitment, not another opportunity to party down. Have a serious hobby? Leave it home for the day.

And I do think even clothing choices considered ‘typical’–gowns, dresses, tux, etc. can easily be way over the top as well. The last wedding I planned–bride in a simple but elegant low cost bridal gown, bridesmaids were allowed to chose their dresses (requested they wear black cocktail dress, which if they already had would be fine), groomsman and groom were suits they already owned, with a new tie and shirt. Reception a simple but beautiful afternoon dessert reception. The main theme of the entire event was obviously the marriage itself, and nothing else.

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Mrs. D October 19, 2011 at 10:25 am

Whoever created this site clearly did so as a joke. Look at the guests’ names! So many of them contain sexual innuendo. There is no way in one wedding of 46 guests you would have a “Peter Peeters,” and “Sharyn Peeters.” Not to mention that surely by now the bride would have taken down the site and/or at the very least the officiant would have insisted she remove the link.

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Tanz October 19, 2011 at 4:47 pm

I may be dense, but I don’t see the sexual innuendo here? Peter and Sharyn are normal names (although the later is usually spelt Sharon) and Peeters isn’t too unusual as a surname either.

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Jadis77 October 19, 2011 at 11:17 am

Wow. Bit pushy, yes? My favorite pictures (in the “Examples of Appropriate Attire” section) are three very obvious Halloween costumes, plus the still from “Robin Hood: Men in Tights”. Oh, and the foul language towards the bottom of the page. If I received an invitation to this event, I think I would find myself very busy doing other things that weekend.

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Tara October 19, 2011 at 11:30 am

I’d be more then happy to rent a costume to their wedding. Then drop a letter into the wishing well saying I wish it contained money, but I had to spend it on renting a dress, so that’s my gift to them. :-p

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stefka October 19, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Wow. My husband and I are historical re-enactors (F&I/RevWar/medieval), and elected to get married in 18th-century clothing (he commands a RevWar regiment). To that end, we asked the wedding party to match us for time period. Most of them were re-enactors themselves, so they either had the clothes or could borrow them. A few made their own. My sister bought an outfit (she was off by a few hundred years, but it worked if you squinted; she jut looked more peasanty).

Since most of our friends are re-enactors, many of them medievalists, we told people to dress “in whatever time period you want.” For many of them, their best clothes are their court garb for the SCA. They wore it. Some dressed modern. One threatened to show up in a Starfleet uniform (how I wish she had!). One family of four came in four different centuries’ fashions (son in 10th-century Norse, dad in 16th century Scots w/kilt, mom in Union Civil War uniform, daughter in modern miniskirt and chunky heels). They looked great.

And everybody could wear their clothes again.

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LilyG October 20, 2011 at 1:24 am

@ Stefka: You. Are. Brilliant.

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Cheryl October 20, 2011 at 8:26 am

Reminds me of what Ms. Manners once said about people who make thier weddings a theme party are too immature to get married.

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Angie October 20, 2011 at 3:00 pm

I also would love to see followup on this – how many people actually showed up, if anyone actually got kicked out for wearing inappropriate attire, and most of all how historically accurate the bride and groom’s outfits were.

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Adica October 20, 2011 at 9:54 pm

If I were invited, I wouldn’t be able to decide whether I’d decline on principle or use it as an excuse to make myself a pretty dress and call it their wedding gift.

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Xtina October 21, 2011 at 10:50 am

It would have been an interesting experiment to show up either in modern clothing, or in an outfit that was specifically banned, just to see what would happen. I wonder if anyone got kicked out for that sort of offense. Did they hire a bouncer to man the doors to enforce it?

Not adding anything new, but for all the fuss over authenticity, their choice of venue and the obvious gaffes of authentic details of the “acceptable” outfits (material, cheapness, etc.) was a glaring ironic contradiction to the demands they placed on their guests. That was lost on them, I guess–hopefully some smart guest pointed it out! This was a wedding masquerading as a chance to put on a show and get money for it (the wishing well) and they figured this was their big chance to do it. Shame, shame, and off to the fiery depths of e-Hell to these people.

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twik October 21, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I think the fact that they threaten to kick out people who are not in the right garb indicates that they *know* this is going to not go down well with a lot of their guests. And they think that their wedding is *SUCH A BIG DEAL* that people will meekly tug their forelocks and agree to anything they propose.

Seeing as non-reenactors would likely be worried about the repercussions if they showed up wearing something that didn’t meet the HC’s exacting standards, I would imagine most of them would simply choose not to attend.

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Amanda Kate October 22, 2011 at 5:52 am

The whole page annoyed me but what made me mad was their insisting that no one come as a “shit digging peasant”. What the heck does that mean. They did have peasants in the middle ages. What’s wrong with being a peasant?

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Cat April 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I’d pretend that I could not spell and come as a pheasant, feathers and all. I would, however, promise not to dig into anything unpleasant.

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Vickie October 26, 2011 at 7:10 pm

The best part of this website is the Robin Hood picture used as an example. That is not Kevin Costner, that is from Mel Brooks’s “Men in Tights”. There should be some good costume ideas from that movie (“I’m cured!” “Nope, I was wrong”), any “ethnic” guests can go as “Achoo”.

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Wink-n-Smile October 27, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Oh, my goodness. As if it weren’t bad enough, they’ve added a wishing well!

And dropped the F-bomb on thier list of “acceptable attire.”

What do they plan to do if you come in rennaissance attire, instead? Boot you out? But keep your gift, I suppose.

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me too, also November 5, 2011 at 3:02 am

That whole thing is so wrong, there should be a new word for “wrong”. If anyone has any follow-up data re: the nuptials of James and Sue, I’m dying to hear it.

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Stepmomster November 30, 2011 at 1:03 am

ok i have to admit, that webpage was actually hilarious in its execution, as far as the pictures included. The swearing made my jaw drop. BTW…no jesters. just sayin.

In all seriousness, I have had friends plan this kind of wedding in the past, and most people belong to the SCA, where everyone invited already owns garb, and the wedding is often done at one of the numerous events that are held throughout the year. I have been to many, and each one was…special. I think lest we judge too harshly, this might be something that was planned by a member of one of these societies, and may not be as weird or rude as everyone thinks. I have known people to go out of their way to also make costumes for relatives that don’t participate in those clubs just to have that person in attendance.

However… if this is something that is randomly sprung on unsuspecting relatives, friends and family, they ought to be ashamed of themselves. but considering the fact that they knew where to buy those outfits or order them, and seemed pretty connected, sounds like a re-enactment guild wedding. FYI, some of those engagements can be years long, just for the preparation. I would be interested to know how long they gave their guests to get clothing.

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Jenn June 8, 2013 at 6:38 pm

I am a historical re-enactor and my first wedding was at one of our SCA events. The wedding included many friends and family not involved in the SCA. We simply asked the hosting group of the event if it would be alright if people came to the event for the wedding in normal clothing. The wedding was held off to the side of the event and during a ‘gap’ in the activities but was not officially part of the event schedule in any way. Anyone who we ‘wanted’ in period clothing, I made their garb for them. I absorbed the fabric and labor cost for that on my own and was happy to do so. We didn’t require anyone who didn’t feel like wearing garb to come dressed.

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